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Some students choose a university where English is the language of instruction. Others prefer an institution where they can speak their native language. Which environment would you prefer and why? v.1

Some students choose a university where English is the language of instruction. Others prefer an institution where they can speak their native language. Which environment would you prefer and why? v. 1
It is commonly believed by some people that testing cosmetic or medicine of animals is the necessary process to ensure the safety of a product before selling to human while others argue that this action is cruel and harmful to animal’s life and required to be terminated. In my opinion, I completely agree that the action to harm animal, even for the purpose to protect of human is unacceptable. First, animals have the basic right to survive and be protected by human. This is because animals are fragile living things and unable to protect themselves from people’s intrusive. There are several pieces of research claim that if some animals, especially chimpanzee is not reserved and excluded from serious damage in any experiment, they will be extinct within 2050. In addition, the extinction of animal can cause high severity damage to the overall ecosystem. Therefore, commercial organizations should stop using the animal to test the efficiency of their products. Second, there is a large number of animals that have been torturing for a long time as they receive side effect of the chemical during the experiment. For instance, the cosmetic company, which invent new chemical cosmetic and testing to the monkeys in the lab room to make sure that their product is safe for clients, causes more than fifty monkeys to face serious allergic without healing the animals. As a result, a large number of monkeys that has serious sickness end up deathly killed due to the chemical in the testing process. This kind of action is immoral, which set a bad example for all commercial business to brutal the animals and make profits from those cruel actions. Furthermore, this will cause young generation to perceive the method of a testing product with animals as the common things which decline the moral value in human. In conclusion, although some experiments required animals to be part of their testing process to ensure the success of products, all actions that might cause a serious effect to animals must be banned as it causes extinction among animals and declines the moral value in soc
It is
commonly
believed by
some
people
that
testing
cosmetic or medicine of
animals
is the necessary process to ensure the safety of a
product
before
selling to human while others argue that this
action
is cruel and harmful to
animal’s
life and required to
be terminated
. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that the
action
to harm
animal
, even for the purpose to protect of human is unacceptable.

First
,
animals
have the basic right to survive and
be protected
by human. This is
because
animals
are fragile living things and unable to protect themselves from
people
’s intrusive. There are several pieces of research claim that if
some
animals
,
especially
chimpanzee is not reserved and excluded from
serious
damage in any experiment, they will be extinct within 2050.
In addition
, the extinction of
animal
can
cause
high severity damage to the
overall
ecosystem.
Therefore
, commercial organizations should
stop
using the
animal
to
test
the efficiency of their products.

Second, there is
a large number of
animals
that have been torturing for a long time as they receive side effect of the chemical during the experiment.
For instance
, the cosmetic
company
, which invent new chemical cosmetic and
testing
to the monkeys in the lab room to
make
sure that their
product
is safe for clients,
causes
more than fifty monkeys to face
serious
allergic without healing the
animals
.
As a result
,
a large number of
monkeys that has
serious
sickness
end
up deathly killed due to the chemical in the
testing
process. This kind of
action
is immoral, which set a
bad
example for all commercial business to brutal the
animals
and
make
profits from those cruel actions.
Furthermore
, this will
cause
young generation to perceive the method of a
testing
product
with
animals
as the common things which decline the moral value in human.

In conclusion
, although
some
experiments required
animals
to be part of their
testing
process to ensure the success of
products
, all actions that might
cause
a
serious
effect to
animals
must
be banned
as it
causes
extinction among
animals
and declines the moral value in soc
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students choose a university where English is the language of instruction. Others prefer an institution where they can speak their native language. Which environment would you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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