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how often do you watch TV? which TV channel do you usually watch? do you enjoy the advertisement on TV? do you think most TV programs are good? v.1

how often do you watch TV? which TV channel do you usually watch? do you enjoy the advertisement on TV? do you think most TV programs are good? v. 1
At the present time, doing employment or have startup are becoming common. It is believed that running own business are more beneficial than working under company or organization. This essay will explain why the advantages of starting their work would be further than the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are some main advantages that should be pointed out. Firstly, unless running a people's own business, they will not have those special experiences. For instance, they would be more confident in making decisions. Moreover, startup founders can improve their managing skill. The second significant advantage is that an individual can production with the flexible working hours. Therefore, people no need to struggle under pressure of the boss. On the other hand, there are a few drawbacks of beginning their employment. One major issue of young startup founders does not have much practical experience and skills. This might lead to easier to fall failure and careers. Another problem is the financial support. Also, it is a challenge for people who are managing an employment to balance the different income every month. Furthermore, a management have to purchase money for employees, even they are debt. Because of this, people who making their task more stressful and heavier responsibility than the others. However, young adults would have a big lesson and this is one of necessary step to the succeed. To sum up, advantages like deciding independently and performing work clearly provide much more enormous benefit than the disadvantages of running their own work field.
At the present time, doing employment or have startup are becoming common. It
is believed
that running
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business are more beneficial than working under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or organization. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of starting their work would be
further
than the disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
that should
be pointed
out.
Firstly
, unless running a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, they will not have those special experiences.
For instance
, they would be more confident in making decisions.
Moreover
, startup founders can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their managing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. The second significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
is that an individual can production with the flexible working hours.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
no need to struggle under pressure of the boss.

On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks of beginning their employment. One major issue of young startup founders does not have much practical experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This might lead to easier to fall failure and careers. Another problem is the financial support.
Also
, it is a challenge for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are managing an employment to balance the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income every month.
Furthermore
, a management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
money for employees, even they are debt.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who making their task more stressful and heavier responsibility than the others.
However
, young adults would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
lesson and this is one of necessary step to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'succeed' is correct. If 'succeed' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the succeed
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
like deciding
independently
and performing work
clearly
provide much more enormous benefit than the disadvantages of running their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work field.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay how often do you watch TV? which TV channel do you usually watch? do you enjoy the advertisement on TV? do you think most TV programs are good? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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