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Do you agree or disagree with following statement people who move out of their native village or towns are more successful and happier than people who stay in their native villages or towns. v.1

people who move out of their native village or towns are more successful and happier than people who stay in their native villages or towns. v. 1
After school academic work is considered to be an essential part of the early age education of a child. Hence, some argue that schools should give work to students to finish at home every day, while others are of the opinion that children should have some time for themselves to enjoy. In my view, giving a lot of homework would lead to have an unpleasant childhood for students. It is true that students must be focused on their studies from the early ages of their lives. In order to secure a better job in the future or to have a better life when the grow up, every child should have a good education. The competition for good jobs is quite high nowadays. Hence, students should have a solid knowledge of the subject matters to face this competition. Therefore, everyday homework is one method that education institutes use to keep their pupils' attention towards academic work. For instance, studies have revealed that a large percentage of children who engage in school work at home, would be able grasp complex subject matters in their future. On the other hand, there are certain negative aspects of giving everyday work to the students. The childhood is the best time of the life of every person, because children do not have responsibilities and they do not normally worry about their future. However, if the teachers and parents fill student's days with more school work, they will lose this great period of life that they could enjoy with the friends of theirs. Moreover, adolescents would generate unhealthy stress at the early ages of their lives. In conclusion, although providing homework is good for the future of the students, by asking them to always engage with the school work, even while they are in homes could destroy their beautiful childhood.
After
school
academic
work
is considered
to be an essential part of the early age education of a child.
Hence
,
some
argue that
schools
should give
work
to
students
to finish at home every day, while others are of the opinion that children should have
some
time for themselves to enjoy. In my view, giving
a lot of
homework would lead to have an unpleasant childhood for students.

It is true that
students
must
be focused
on their studies from the early ages of their
lives
. In order to secure a better job in the future or to have a better life when the
grow
up, every child should have a
good
education. The competition for
good
jobs is quite high nowadays.
Hence
,
students
should have a solid knowledge of the subject matters to face this competition.
Therefore
, everyday homework is one method that education institutes
use
to
keep
their pupils' attention towards academic
work
.
For instance
, studies have revealed that a large percentage of children who engage in
school
work
at home, would be
able grasp
complex subject matters in their future.

On the other hand
, there are certain
negative
aspects of giving everyday
work
to the
students
. The childhood is the best time of the life of every person,
because
children do not have
responsibilities and
they do not
normally
worry about their future.
However
, if the teachers and parents fill student's days with more
school
work
, they will lose this great period of life that they could enjoy with the friends of theirs.
Moreover
, adolescents would generate unhealthy
stress
at the early ages of their
lives
.

In conclusion
, although providing homework is
good
for the future of the
students
, by asking them to always engage with the
school
work
, even while they are in homes could
destroy
their
beautiful
childhood.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay people who move out of their native village or towns are more successful and happier than people who stay in their native villages or towns. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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