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The examiner asks the candidate about him/herself, his/her home, work or studies and other familiar topics. v.1

The examiner asks the candidate about him/herself, his/her home, work or studies and other familiar topics. v. 1
Traditions and cultures are in a state of flux nowadays. One result of this cultural upheaval is that parents in many countries opting for fewer children than in the past. In this essay, I will examine what I consider to be the main advantages and potential drawback of having smaller families from both parents' and children's viewpoints. The benefits of having one or two children are obvious. On a very basic level, a smaller family means more time and money for the family. Whereas, parents with many offspring tend to spend their day juggling between school drop-offs and extracurricular activities, not to mention, work and running a home. Those with fewer mouths to feed enjoy better economic independence and spend more time with each other. From the child's point of view, if they have one or no sibling, they enjoy better attention from their parents and that helps their mental health. For instance, a health magazine, Healthify, conducted a study on young children and astonishingly they found almost 40 percent of children are suffering from depression. The emotional support is paramount in tender age and needs to be nurtured carefully. Despite these positives, there are shortcomings of having a small family. From the parents' angle, fewer or no children means no support in their old age. When they are old and frails, they will need some of their own to take care of them. In their absence, they end up in care facilities, which are not salubrious for mental health. For example, In my country, people with no children, often end up in the old-age home. In addition, some people believe that by having a solitary child, parents are creating selfish egomaniac, rather than benefits from the parent's attention, as mentioned in the previous paragraph. Youngsters can be over-parented, and some would grow up as a spoiled individual. In conclusion, although families are getting smaller in general, whether this is positive or negative depends on the individual. Personally, while I can acknowledge the potential problems, I feel that nuclear families are ultimately better off.
Traditions and cultures are in a state of flux nowadays. One result of this cultural upheaval is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries opting for fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than in the past. In this essay, I will examine what I consider to be the main advantages and potential drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
from both parents' and children's viewpoints.

The benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
one or two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obvious. On a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic level, a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
means more time and money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offspring tend to spend their day juggling between school drop-offs and extracurricular activities, not to mention, work and running a home. Those with fewer mouths to feed enjoy better economic independence and spend more time with each other. From the child's point of view, if they have one or no sibling, they enjoy better attention from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their mental health.
For instance
, a health magazine,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Healthify
, conducted a study on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
astonishingly
they found almost 40 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are suffering from depression. The emotional support is paramount in tender age and needs to
be nurtured
carefully
.

Despite these positives, there are shortcomings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. From the parents' angle, fewer or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
means no support in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age. When they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
frails
, they will need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to take care of them. In their absence, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in care facilities, which are not salubrious for mental health.
For example
, In my country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age home.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a solitary child,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are creating selfish egomaniac,
rather
than benefits from the parent's attention, as mentioned in the previous paragraph. Youngsters can be over-parented, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would grow up as a spoiled individual.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are getting smaller
in general
, whether this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
depends on the individual.
Personally
, while I can acknowledge the potential problems, I feel that nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
ultimately
better off.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The examiner asks the candidate about him/herself, his/her home, work or studies and other familiar topics. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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