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Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. v. 2
The question is whether students in 12 years age should have different types of teachers or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however, I am inclined to affirm that instructing by several teachers can provide advantageous aspects in students' personality and education and all of these merits are able to guarantee the young' s future. I feel this way for some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay to empower my vantage point: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that the most of children have trouble in adapting to school' s condition particularly in first years of study. Based on a done research by a well-known institution in my country, rather 75 percentages of children in this age are reluctant in going to the classrooms. Playing with friends at home without any burden of assignment is one of the biggest children' s desires; hence, for solving such a fatigue circumstance, the schools and its staff can offer a system which assist students to avoid any lethargy or numb feeling. In short, visiting different types of teachers with diverse approaches of teaching can be a stone stepping for the 12 years young to refresh their mind in a variety of courses. The second reason for my argument lies the fact that every tutor employs a wide range of instructions of education. Some teachers may apply active methods in class such as bring a live frog into a biology class to keep students' attention and others may instruct with passive strategies. The different types of methods would play a crucial role in learning of the young; consequently, they will not be restricted in learning scientific or art matters. Meanwhile, one should not forget that since in such a great plan, students have to adapt to different pressures and positions, therefore, they have an opportunity to challenge their abilities. Needless to say that experiencing new points can help students' brain to secrete more Dopamine- a chemical substance which is responsible for creating happiness and concentration. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn spending time with exclusive teachers in every course increases students ' eager for attending in the school and adjusting with school' s life will not be hard any more, even more the young children will improve their performance to prepare for high-level of education in high -school.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 12 years age should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
, I
am inclined
to affirm that instructing by several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can provide advantageous aspects in
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; personality and education and all of these merits are able to guarantee the
Possible spelling mistake found.
young&
#039; s future. I feel this way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, which I will explore them in following essay to empower my vantage point:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have trouble in adapting to
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s condition
particularly
in
first
years of study. Based on a done research by a well-known institution in my country,
rather
75 percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this age are reluctant in going to the classrooms. Playing with friends at home without any burden of assignment is one of the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s desires;
hence
, for solving such a fatigue circumstance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and its staff can offer a system which assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to avoid any lethargy or numb feeling. In short, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with diverse approaches of teaching can be a stone stepping for the 12 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to refresh their mind in a variety of courses.

The second reason for my argument lies the fact that every tutor employs a wide range of instructions of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
may apply active methods in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
such as bring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
frog into a biology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
may instruct with passive strategies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of methods would play a crucial role in learning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
;
consequently
, they will not
be restricted
in learning scientific or art matters. Meanwhile, one should not forget that since in such a great plan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
pressures and positions,
therefore
, they have an opportunity to challenge their abilities. Needless to say that experiencing new points can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; brain to secrete more Dopamine- a chemical substance which is responsible for creating happiness and concentration.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
spending time with exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in every course increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
' eager for attending in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and adjusting with
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s life will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
, even more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performance to prepare for high-level of education in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
-school
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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