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Obesity is an increasing public health problem in soe parts of the world Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions v.2

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in soe parts of the world Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions v. 2
Obesity has become a major public health issue in a number of countries. Poor diet and lack of exercise are the major reasons behind this. While obesity is a serious problem for these reasons, there are solutions. The biggest cause of the obesity problem, in my opinion, is poor diet. Fast food restaurants have become widespread, and people like to eat at them because they are cheap and convenient. Unfortunately, tha meals they sell are high in calories and low in nutrition. Snack foods, especially chips and sodas, are also very popular. Like fast food meals, these foods provide a lot of calories but little nutrition. Another major cause of obesity is lack of exercise. People drive everywhere, so they have little opportunity to walk. People also work long hours and don’t have much time to go to the gym or play sports. Children seem to prefer sitting in front of tht computer to playing active games outside with their friends. Fortunately, there are solutions to this problem. Education is very important. Public campaigns to explain the importance of good diet and regular exercise could get people to think about changing their habits. In addition, making healthy food more available would encourage people to eat better. Schools, for example, could provide lunches with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. Obesity is a problem because it can lead to some serious health conditions. If people are encouraged to eat better and exercise more, however, the situation could be greatly improved.
Obesity has become a major public health issue in a number of countries. Poor diet and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are the major reasons behind this. While obesity is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for these reasons, there are solutions.

The biggest cause of the obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, in my opinion, is poor diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants have become widespread, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to eat at them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and convenient. Unfortunately,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
meals they sell are high in calories and low in nutrition. Snack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
especially
chips and sodas, are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular. Like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
meals, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
calories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
nutrition.

Another major cause of obesity is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
drive everywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opportunity to walk.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
work long hours and don’t have much time to go to the gym or play sports. Children seem to prefer sitting in front of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tht
computer to playing active games outside with their friends.

Fortunately
, there are solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Public campaigns to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet and regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about changing their habits.
In addition
, making healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more available would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat better. Schools,
for example
, could provide lunches with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Obesity is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious health conditions. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to eat better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more,
however
, the situation could be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Obesity is an increasing public health problem in soe parts of the world Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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