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Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. v. 1
Some think that, maintaining the educational career in different countries help human's to enlarge their vision and the thinking style that he/she had. Other believe that staying in your homeland is better because it is the most efficient way to get ready for a great work career in the pupil's own nation. In my opinion, the first view is more accurate and meaningful. Firstly, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, secondly, will explain the other ideas benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, continuing your education in another country helps you to compare different views and peoples, thus, you can extend your mind and understanding of the world. Also, you will learn a new language or improve if you know. These advantages could affect your work and life in a good way. Namely, if you know several languages you have a chance to communicate with more people in comparison with a person with no other languages. Thus, you could earn more, to illustrate, your sell rates could be higher because of your communication skills, if you interact with more people you will sell more goods or products. Moreover, if you are not an employee, you can find a job easier because of your language quantity. It has some drawbacks such as missing your family or your friends, but in my opinion, these are just minor details for me and these are not very crucial. One the other hand, staying in your nation makes you more comfortable because you are with your family, relevants, friends and other people. Furthermore, using your native language makes your life easier because you can interact with the community more efficient than using a foreign language. If your country's educational system is good enough in your opinion, you can stay and master your social skills, however, if it is not so good, I recommend you to emmigrate from your country for education. Also, it has some drawbacks like not expanding your mind and thought. I think that is an important issue for a pupil. In conclusion, there are some several advantages and disadvantages about these arguments and some of them are crucial for the future. I believed that immigration is playing an important role on teenagers, I recommend them to leave and build a new life in a different nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, maintaining the educational career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
human's to enlarge their vision and the thinking style that he/she had.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
believe that staying in your homeland is better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the most efficient way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for a great work career in the pupil's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation. In my opinion, the
first
view is more accurate and meaningful.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad,
secondly
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
benefits and drawbacks.

On the one hand, continuing your education in another country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
,
thus
, you can extend your mind and understanding of the world.
Also
, you will learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
if you know. These advantages could affect your work and life in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way.
Namely
, if you know several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
you have a chance to communicate with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in comparison
with a person with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Thus
, you could earn more, to illustrate, your sell rates could be higher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of your communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, if you interact with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you will sell more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or products.
Moreover
, if you are not an employee, you can find a job easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
quantity. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as missing your family or your friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for me and these are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, staying in your nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are with your family,
Possible spelling mistake found.
relevants
, friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, using your native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your life easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can interact with the community more efficient than using a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. If your country's educational system is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in your opinion, you can stay and master your social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
however
, if it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, I recommend you to
Possible spelling mistake found.
emmigrate
from your country for education.
Also
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks like not expanding your mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue for a pupil.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
several advantages and disadvantages about these arguments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are crucial for the future. I believed that immigration is playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, I recommend them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and build a new life in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some scientists believe that students under the age of 12 should have different teachers every day like the students who are between 12-18 years old. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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