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Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. v.1

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. v. 1
Nowadays, money is one of the most significant materials in our lives. To many people, it is appropriate to marry for money rather than love. However, I believe that both love and money should be combined in any marriage. Certainly, money plays an important part in our lives. It is hard for any persons to accept a partner who does not have money or at least a job to take care of their future family. Hence, it is said, “marry for money” is right in some extent. However, love should be the root of any marriage. Firstly, it is because love is such a strong bond between two persons who have their own lives, and become one. So, they can share each other’s sadness, happiness to overcome any difficulties in their daily lives. Moreover, love makes people grow up because they do not only have responsibility to themselves, but also to their partners as well. That is why marrying for love is always encouraged. In my opinion, I think that love and money are both necessary. A marriage relying on money would rapidly disintegrate when unfortunately the money ran out. In contrary, a marriage relying on love would sometimes come to end when they could not earn money to carry out family duties such as paying bills, buying food, etc. Therefore, love and money should stand together in marriage even though their contribution could be unbalanced. As we have seen, marriage without either money or love would come to an unhappy end. So I believe that they both make their own contribution to a merry family.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the most significant materials in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is appropriate to marry for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
.
However
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be combined
in any marriage.

Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for any persons to accept a partner who does not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or at least a job to take care of their future family.
Hence
, it
is said
, “marry for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money”
is right in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
should be the root of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is such a strong bond between two persons who have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and become one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can share each other’s sadness, happiness to overcome any difficulties in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have responsibility to themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to their partners
as well
.
That is
why marrying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is always encouraged.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are both necessary. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would
rapidly
disintegrate when unfortunately the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
ran out. In contrary, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
when they could not earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to carry out family duties such as paying bills, buying food, etc.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should stand together in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
even though
their contribution could
be unbalanced
.

As we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
without either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an unhappy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe that they both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
contribution to a merry family.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wiser to marry for money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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