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Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it's wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words. v.2

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it's wiser to marry for money. v. 2
It is thought by some individuals that the most excited moment in life is the adolescent age, while some believe that adulthood gives more happiness not minding the huge obligation attached to it. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and state clearly my opinion. There are several reasons why some people believe that the teen years is the happiest stage. Firstly, they have freedom and less responsibility, which will allow them to make friends, engage in various social activities and as well have time to practice a lot of skills and talents. For example, most teenagers now have mobile phones and has access to the internet where they view what ever that is in vogue. As a result of this, their freedom is being used to achieve numerous things that will add to their lives. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that maturity has anything to do in our lives. Expanding of interest this increases their skills, both psychological and physical thereby build self confidence and self belief to pursue their career. Also, they live an independent life, by being able to cater for themselves, plan their ways on how to progress in what they do, they know how to get involved in a relationship that will benefit them, and can be able to make decisions. In conclusion, while some people believe that happiness is more during young age because of the freedom they have. I believe that adult years have a whole lot to make them have a happy living and enjoy their adolescent period.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that the most excited moment in life is the adolescent age, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that adulthood gives more happiness not minding the huge obligation attached to it. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and state
clearly
my opinion.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the teen years is the happiest stage.
Firstly
, they have freedom and less responsibility, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, engage in various social activities and
as well
have time to practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents.
For example
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have mobile phones and has access to the internet where they view what ever
that is
in vogue.
As a result
of this, their freedom is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to achieve numerous things that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that maturity has anything to do in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Expanding of interest this increases their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, both psychological and physical thereby build
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
and self belief to pursue their career.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an independent life, by being able to cater for themselves, plan their ways on how to progress in what they do, they know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in a relationship that will benefit them, and can be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that happiness is more during young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the freedom they have. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that adult years have a
Consider using "lot".
whole lot
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them have a happy living and enjoy their adolescent period.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it's wiser to marry for money. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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