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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 3
Companies nowadays prefer to gather personal information from the candidates applying for a job, which includes marital status, interests, and hobbies. Although believed by many that such information may be relevant and useful to hire a perfect candidate, but, few people think that personal information must not be revealed to the employer because it may result in discrimination in the hiring process. This essay will discuss both the views, however, in my opinion, disclosure of such information does not affect the hiring process and helps the employer make a better choice over a number of candidates. On the one hand, it is perceived by many that capturing the private information of candidates who are applying for jobs gives the free hand to the hiring managers, to hire the candidate of their own interest. However, it is important to understand that the hiring manager will be able to hire a person of personal interest only if he is aware of the place where the candidates belong to, or the cast of the candidate, but having information only about the hobbies, interest and marital status does not allows the recruiting manager to take a biased decision. A recent survey by Economic Times suggests that the companies who do not seek personal information from the candidates have a 10% higher attrition rate. So in my opinion, the belief that employer having availed the personal information may bias the recruiting process is not valid. On the other hand, the hiring managers ask the candidates for personal information to make the best choice out of the pool of candidates. Firstly, seeking personal information such as interest and hobbies reveals the nature of the person and reveals more about the personality of the candidate. Such as, someone having a habit of reading novels must be a person who likes to be surrounded by books. Secondly, asking for the marital status helps the hiring manager to make a decision according to the requirement of the role, as the role might include a lot of traveling which is generally not preferred by the married candidates, and may result in disinterest from the job. Times now interview with top recruiting agencies shows that the hiring managers who seek personal information from candidates have been able to recruit more successful candidates with an attrition rate of less than 10%. In my opinion, employers who ask the private information of the candidates successfully hire a better person according to the roles and responsibility of the position. To conclude, hiring managers availing subjective information in advance, from the candidates applying for job opportunities should not be seen as a way of dissolving transparency of the hiring procedure, as it helps employers bring the best resources to the company.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
nowadays prefer to gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which includes marital status,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, and hobbies. Although believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may be relevant and useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be revealed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may result in discrimination in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
process. This essay will discuss both the views,
however
, in my opinion, disclosure of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
does not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better choice over a number of candidates.

On the one hand, it
is perceived
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that capturing the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are applying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
gives the free hand to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if he is aware of the place where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
belong to, or the cast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the hobbies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and marital status does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "allow"
allows
the recruiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
to take a biased decision. A recent survey by Economic Times suggests that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
have a 10% higher attrition rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion, the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
having availed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may bias the recruiting process is not valid.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
ask the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best choice out of the pool of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
.
Firstly
, seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and hobbies reveals the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and reveals more about the personality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
. Such as, someone having a habit of reading novels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
likes to
be surrounded
by books.
Secondly
, asking for the marital status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision according to the requirement of the role, as the role might include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
traveling which is
generally
not preferred by the married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
, and may result in disinterest from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
interview with top recruiting agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
have been able to recruit more successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
with an attrition rate of less than 10%. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
ask the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
successfully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hire
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
according to the roles and responsibility of the position.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
availing subjective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in advance, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
applying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a way of dissolving transparency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
procedure, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
bring the best resources to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
79Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
456 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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