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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
As the number of University students who go overseas to study is increasing, people are debating about the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? This essay shows that although pursuing education in another country is costly and often distracting to students, it is far more beneficial to them due to the new learning and personality development opportunities offered by overseas study. Getting educated abroad is helpful in developing personal skills in students. Because students studying in foreign countries are faced with challenges of coping with new culture, norms, and standards, they develop a balanced personality during the process of overcoming these challenges. In addition, students learn new ways of living life as they interact with different people who have their own ways of leading their lives. For example, in a recent study, overseas study has proven to produce well-balanced graduates from among students in another country. However, foreign study is criticised by many because it is often costly. To pursue education in another country, students have to buy plane tickets as well as their own accommodation whereas they can live with their parents in their home country during studies. Furthermore, going to another country takes the focus away from studies as they get busy sorting out their day-today matters. If they pursue education in this own country, these issues would not be present. In conclusion, even though studying in another country is costly and causes focus issues for students, it creates a balanced personality among graduates and offers them new ways of learning about life. That is why, I believe, the advantages of overseas study win over the disadvantages.
As the number of University
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students
who go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
to
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study
is increasing,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are debating about the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that although pursuing education in another
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country
is costly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
distracting to
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students
, it is far more beneficial to them due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
learning and personality development opportunities offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
study.

Getting educated abroad is helpful in developing personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
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students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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students
studying in foreign
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countries
are faced
with challenges of coping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, norms, and standards, they develop a balanced personality during the process of overcoming these challenges.
In addition
,
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students
learn
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new
ways of living life as they interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways of leading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, in a recent
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study
,
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overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
has proven to produce well-balanced graduates from among
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students
in another country.

However
, foreign
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study
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticised' is British English.
criticised
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
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often
costly. To pursue education in another
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country
,
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
tickets
as well
as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accommodation whereas they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents in their home
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country
during
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studies
.
Furthermore
, going to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
takes the focus away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busy sorting out their day-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
matters. If they pursue education in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
, these issues would not be present.

In conclusion
,
even though
studying in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is costly and causes focus issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it creates a balanced personality among graduates and offers them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ways of learning about life.
That is
why, I believe, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
win over the disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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