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Some say that young and energetic employees are most valuable for the company while others argue that older employees who have more experience and knowledge are more important Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some say that young and energetic employees are most valuable for the company while others argue that older employees who have more experience and knowledge are more important 2
Nowadays, there are still competition between young workers and older workers from applying for the same position in the company. There are some ideas that elders will bring more benefits for the company due to their involved background knowledge in the profession. However, I would argue that the younger will put more value on the company with their dynamic and willing to learn abilities by comparing with the old. The option to hire older employees is beneficial for several reasons. The old have years of experience and essential skills, such as face-to-face communication, planning, timekeeping. The company therefore will save an amount of money for training courses. Moreover, older workers are more likely to stick with the company as they don’t have the desire to change the jobs. In the other words, they are apparently loyal. On the other hand, I believe that it will bring more advantages for the company to hire the youth. Firstly, young employees can bring fresh atmosphere by their differences and creative thinking. Secondly, adaptability and agility help the younger learn new thing more quickly and be able to deal with sudden change or problems, especially related to technology. And the last benefit is that hiring young employees might be less expensive than hiring older. This element might be fundamental to those companies whose budged is small. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the dynamic youth would bring more benefits for the company.
Nowadays, there are
still
competition between young workers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
workers from applying for the same position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that elders will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
due to their involved background knowledge in the profession.
However
, I would argue that the younger will put more value on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with their dynamic and willing to learn abilities by comparing with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

The option to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
employees is beneficial for several reasons. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
have years of experience and essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as face-to-face communication, planning, timekeeping.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
therefore
will save an amount of money for training courses.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
workers are more likely to stick with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as they don’t have the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the jobs. In the other words, they are
apparently
loyal.

On the other hand
, I believe that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to hire the youth.
Firstly
, young employees can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
fresh atmosphere by their differences and creative thinking.
Secondly
, adaptability and agility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the younger learn new thing more
quickly
and be able to deal with sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
or problems,
especially
related to technology. And the last benefit is that hiring young employees might be less expensive than hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
. This element might be fundamental to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
whose budged is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the dynamic youth would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
more benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some say that young and energetic employees are most valuable for the company while others argue that older employees who have more experience and knowledge are more important 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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