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Some say that young and energetic employees are the most valuable for the company, others argue that older employees have more experience and knowledge. v.2

Some say that young and energetic employees are the most valuable for the company, others argue that older employees have more experience and knowledge. v. 2
answer this question because different people think differently about this topic. Some people believe that elderly staff's experience outweighs young employee's eagerness and energy and the rest have opposite point of view. I personally believe a suitable combination of young and experienced employees would work best for every single company. Older employees are valuable assets for financial organisations as they have many years of experience behind them. Consequently, they own a great knowledge about the company and nature of the work. As a result, they can offer good solutions in tight situations as in many cases they have had the similar experience before. For instance, they can foresee the bottlenecks and potential problems better than young staffs. However, most of them usually become outdated gradually as they gradually become less willing to update their knowledge. In contrast with the older staffs, younger employees usually are very energetic and have an updated knowledge about their field of work. To say more, they are usually more creative in solving the problems, eager to learn more and have a great effort in the work. Although these are all very beneficial for every company, their lack of experience may suffer them as well. To conclude, according to my experience as a software developer, a good mixture of young and experienced employees will have the best effects in the companies. The experience of elderly in combination with youth energy and passion make the teams more efficient and the companies more productive.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
answer
this question
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
about this topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that elderly staff's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
outweighs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
employee's eagerness and energy and the rest have opposite point of view. I
personally
believe a suitable combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
best for every single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are valuable assets for financial
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
behind them.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a great knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, they can offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solutions in tight situations as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases they have had the similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, they can foresee the bottlenecks and potential problems better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
staffs.
However
, most of them
usually
become outdated
gradually
as they
gradually
become less willing to update their knowledge.

In contrast
with the older staffs, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
usually
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
energetic and have an updated knowledge about their field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To say more, they are
usually
more creative in solving the problems, eager to learn more and have a great effort in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Although these are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, their lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
may suffer them
as well
.

To conclude
, according to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as a software developer, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mixture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will have the best effects in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of elderly in combination with youth energy and passion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the teams more efficient and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
more productive.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some say that young and energetic employees are the most valuable for the company, others argue that older employees have more experience and knowledge. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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