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Nowdays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v.4

Nowdays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 4
In present generation, most of the people are interacting socially with others through online on social networks and not meeting directly. In my opinion, I believe that there is some negative sign to socialize in online. Few people are taking advantage at online meetups. In olden days, people gets interacted directly to others. At that time, there is no any tele-communication or social networking sites. You can explore places and spend some time together. So that relationship go stronger. For example, I have good childhood friends. Because, we spent time together and play cricket and watching movies when we were free time. Now most of all the teenagers are preferring facebook, wats app and some other dating sites to interact. I have to accept that in some cases socialize in online has some advantages. If you go some new place you could not able to find friends easily. In that cases, online is the best option to find the new people. You can interact easily with facebook or instagram wherever you go. For example, When I came to Toronto first time, facebook helped me a lot to found the new friends. But there is some dis advantages choosing socialize with online. Due to privacy concern, few people trapping us using social networking sites which causes teenagers went wrong direction. In conclusion, I believe that socialize through online is easily to find new friends. But if relationship continue to grow stronger, you have to interact directly.
In present generation, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interacting
socially
with others through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on social networks and not meeting
directly
. In my opinion, I believe that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socialize
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking advantage at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
meetups.

In olden days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
interacted
directly
to others. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-communication
or social networking sites. You can explore places and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
relationship go stronger.
For example
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, we spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and play cricket and watching movies when we were free time.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
most of all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wats
app and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other dating sites to interact. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socialize
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place you could not able to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
easily
. In that cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is the best option to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. You can interact
easily
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
wherever you go.
For example
, When I came to Toronto
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me a lot to found the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "this"?
dis
advantages choosing
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to socialize"
socialize
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Due to privacy concern, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trapping us using social networking sites which causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socialize
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
easily
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if relationship continue to grow stronger, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact
directly
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowdays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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