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Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. 2
Some would argue that governments should allocate substantial amounts of money to cater for artists, such as singers and movie stars. However, others believe that it is unwise to do so and this hefty budgets should instead be spent on other sectors. This essay will first discuss both these views before coming to the conclusion that government legislators should balance their spending between all areas. On the one hand, it is believed that spending large sums of money on artists’ performances, such as movies making and music, is a great way of investment. That is to say, governments sponsor arts as a way to generate profits that would contribute to increasing the local income. Artists also play a significant role in promoting the cultures and traditions of their nations through arts achievements and that is why many people consider them as the ambassadors of their heritage and their local culture. Thus, they are worth the money being spent on them. For instance, the latest Indian movie of Sharokhan yielded millions of dollars for the local government and familiarized many people with the Indian culture. On the other hand, it is believed that government rulers should spend more on other sectors, such as building more hospitals and schools. Spending more money to promote people’s wellbeing is more beneficial because it looks after the local community and the future generation rather than frittering away money on idle art performances that are deemed to be luxurious and recreational. For example, Singapore has become one of the developed nations by dint of improving its standards of living and focusing on the healthcare sector and education. In conclusion, I firmly believe that both of the latter views are equally valid and governments should balance their spending on human’s essentials and entertainment. Art is an integral part of our lives that amuses and inspires us, while educations and healthcare facilities are indispensable for our existence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should allocate substantial amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cater for artists, such as singers and movie stars.
However
, others believe that it is unwise to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and this hefty budgets should
instead
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors. This essay will
first
discuss both these views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
legislators should balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
between all areas.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
large sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on artists’ performances, such as movies making and music, is a great way of investment.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as a way to generate profits that would contribute to increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
income. Artists
also
play a significant role in promoting the cultures and traditions of their nations through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
achievements and
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider them as the ambassadors of their heritage and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.
Thus
, they are worth the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
being spent
on them.
For instance
, the latest Indian movie of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sharokhan
yielded millions of dollars for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and familiarized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the Indian culture.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
rulers should spend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors, such as building more hospitals and schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
is more beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it looks after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community and the future generation
rather
than frittering away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on idle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
performances that
are deemed
to be luxurious and recreational.
For example
, Singapore has become one of the developed nations by dint of improving its standards of living and focusing on the healthcare sector and education.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that both of the latter views are
equally
valid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human essentials"?
human’s essentials
and entertainment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is an integral part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that amuses and inspires us, while educations and healthcare facilities are indispensable for our existence.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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