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Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.2

Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 2
In the recent digital age, internet becomes more popular among the people. This made the universe smaller by connecting people together. Many people believe that internet made the communication easier and the world becomes smaller by bringing people together. I strongly agree with this argument. Firstly, thanks to email and social media, transmitting information do not take as much time as it used to do in the past. To be more specific, just 10 years ago, the handwriting was regarded as the main approach of communication in a far distance. As a result, to send a traditional letter between people living in two different cities or countries might take up to months to arrive. However, nowadays, distance is no longer a hindrance of connection. Information can be transmitted at the speed of light by clicking a button. Additionally, video calls which are prevalent in today’s world have made the connection among members of a family or a company who cannot have face-to-face conversations more intimate. Misunderstanding while communicating can also be minimized. Secondly, the Internet is assumed to help people broaden their relationship circle. For instance, it is undeniable that cyber has become more and more popular. Scientific findings have shown that the number of people using Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites are soaring, including people of all ages; therefore, those who wish to search for someone sharing the same viewpoints are highly likely to find a soul mate via social media. People, regardless of gender and religion can discuss one topic together in the virtual world. In conclusion, for all these above reasons, Internet has made connection much easier than ever before.
In the recent digital age, internet becomes more popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This made the universe smaller by connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that internet made the communication easier and the world becomes smaller by bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument.

Firstly
, thanks to email and social media, transmitting information do not take as much time as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in the past. To be more specific,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10 years ago, the handwriting
was regarded
as the main approach of communication in a far distance.
As a result
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a traditional letter between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities or countries might take up to months to arrive.
However
, nowadays, distance is no longer a hindrance of connection. Information can
be transmitted
at the speed of light by clicking a button.
Additionally
, video calls which are prevalent in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world have made the connection among members of a family or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who cannot have face-to-face conversations more intimate. Misunderstanding while communicating can
also
be minimized
.

Secondly
, the Internet
is assumed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
broaden their relationship circle.
For instance
, it is undeniable that cyber has become more and more popular. Scientific findings have shown that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites are soaring, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages;
therefore
, those who wish to search for someone sharing the same viewpoints are
highly
likely to find a soul mate via social media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, regardless of gender and religion can discuss one topic together in the virtual world.

In conclusion
, for all these above reasons, Internet has made connection much easier than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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