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Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another? v.3

In today's world, technology plays a vital role in every human beings life and make it uncomplicated to communicate with their family members and friends within any part of the world. I partially agree with the statement consequently their are many reasons that support to my acceptance to the statement are given in this essay. In today's modernized era nobody have enough time to write a letter to family or friends and have no patience that they can wait for their response. Due to advancement in technology smartphone assist to send a message to countrywide with a one single touch on a screen. Moreover, some youngsters left their own country to pursue foreign education and gain better future for this reason, pupils use internet to contact with family. For instance, to pursue higher study I move to Canada and spend plenty of time on study and work but on every occasion, on some special day I talk to my family on video call and we share our presence with each other. Furthermore, with the assistance of internet most of the business companies save money on travelling by organize conference or meeting via internet video call and it also save more time that spend on travelling. It is a reality that, advantages and disadvantages are resembles the two sides of the coin, which runs parallel to each other consequently, internet have some drawbacks also which could affect people's health. Continuing usage of internet cause weak eyesight, itchiness in eyes, redness in eyes, obesity due to sitting for a long period of time. Moreover, youngsters spend half of the day on surfing internet that make them less socialized and irresponsible. this could lead some criminal activities in society. Furthermore, adults start watching adult movies on some Porn sites and begin online dating which could convert their behavior into compulsive sexual behavior, then this problem may increase the rate of rape in society. In conclusion, I would say that internet is one of the most modernization and most successful tool not only for the communication but for study and to get more relevant information but for a limited use only.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, technology plays a vital role in every human beings life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it uncomplicated to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and friends within any part of the world. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
consequently
Did you mean “there”?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that support to my acceptance to the statement are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in this essay. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modernized era nobody
The pronoun ‘nobody’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “has”, “had”.
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to write a letter to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or friends and have no patience that they can wait for their response. Due to advancement in technology smartphone assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message to countrywide with a one single touch on a screen.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country to pursue foreign education and gain better future
for this reason
, pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet to contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, to pursue higher study I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Canada and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on study and work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on every occasion, on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special day I talk to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on video
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
call and
we share our presence with each other.
Furthermore
, with the assistance of internet most of the business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
save money on travelling by organize conference or meeting via internet video
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
call and
it
also
save more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that spend on travelling. It is a reality that, advantages and disadvantages are resembles the two sides of the coin, which runs parallel to each other
consequently
, internet have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
which could affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Continuing usage of internet cause weak eyesight, itchiness in eyes, redness in eyes, obesity due to sitting for a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, youngsters spend half of the day on surfing internet that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less socialized and irresponsible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
could lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criminal activities in society.
Furthermore
, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
watching adult movies on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Porn sites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
online dating which could convert their behavior into compulsive sexual behavior, then this problem may increase the rate of rape in society.
In conclusion
, I would say that internet is one of the most modernization and most successful tool not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for study and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more relevant information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for a limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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