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Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v.2

Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v. 2
In these days, individuals giving less importance to active lifestyle due to their inactive living habits. Some are the belief that telecasting of various international sporting events on television could tackle this problem; however, others and me advocate the view that there are more effective methods could encourage individuals to do exercise. To begin with, I would say that broadcasting popular sport events such as, wrestling tournaments and World cup have less impact than the other measures. This is because, sports fans follow their hero athletes intensively, and try to make them as a perfect schema healthy lifestyle and daily routines. This encouragement always occurs after some completions and a huge number of youngsters worldwide try to build their physiques like their favourite stars. However, just some of those diligent fans are capable to achieve the goal and being fitness regime when they become adults. It is rooted in their life style, since they cannot continue this routine due to their dreary work schedules and it causes, they become forgetful about their health. So, this approach just effective for a small group of society. However, less activity was unheard of fifty years ago, this phenomenon has some known solution. First and most important, the government should develop modern recreational areas in every locality of a city, and make multimedia programs for promoting healthy culture in the society. Those should activity centres should be subsidized. Additionally, policymakers should plan for subsidies recreational centres to cover low-income people. In other word this policy inspires citizens marry fitness regime and healthful movements without extra burden. Totally, lawmakers should set suitable rules for take tax from advertises which have not exercised regularly through TV and radio. If dwellers listen rewarding content in advertisements, they would have simulation to follow advice. In conclusion, although broadcasting widely enjoyed sports competitions on television could lead to people to have an active life, but this measure is adequate for short term. It seems to me that, the government plays a tremendous role by providing abundance to support people’s financial doubt and extend the related facilities in every locality of a city.
In these days, individuals giving less importance to active lifestyle due to their inactive living habits.
Some
are the belief that telecasting of various international sporting
events
on television could tackle this problem;
however
, others and me advocate the view that there are more effective methods could encourage individuals to do exercise.

To
begin
with, I would say that broadcasting popular sport
events
such as, wrestling tournaments and World cup have less impact than the other measures. This is
because
, sports fans follow their hero athletes
intensively
, and try to
make
them as a perfect schema healthy lifestyle and daily routines. This encouragement always occurs after
some
completions and a huge number of youngsters worldwide try to build their physiques like their
favourite
stars.
However
,
just
some
of those diligent fans are capable to achieve the goal and being fitness regime when they become adults. It
is rooted
in their life style, since they cannot continue this routine due to their dreary work schedules and it causes, they become forgetful about their health.
So
, this approach
just
effective for a
small
group of society.

However
, less activity was unheard of fifty years ago, this phenomenon has
some
known solution.
First
and most
important
, the
government
should develop modern recreational areas in every locality of a city, and
make
multimedia programs for promoting healthy culture in the society. Those should activity
centres
should
be subsidized
.
Additionally
, policymakers should plan for subsidies recreational
centres
to cover low-income
people
. In other word this policy inspires citizens marry fitness regime and healthful movements without extra burden.
Totally
, lawmakers should set suitable
rules
for take tax from advertises which have not exercised
regularly
through TV and radio. If dwellers listen rewarding content in advertisements, they would have simulation to follow advice.

In conclusion
, although broadcasting
widely
enjoyed sports competitions on television could lead to
people
to have an active life,
but
this measure is adequate for short term. It seems to me that, the
government
plays a tremendous role by providing abundance to support
people
’s financial doubt and extend the related facilities in every locality of a city.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, adults do little exercise. Some people believe that the best way to address this issue is by covering great sports events such as the Olympics on television. Others think that it is more beneficial to take other measures. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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