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Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience. v.3

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. v. 3
In the recent centuries, it has been an obvious gap among the countries all over the world due to technological advancement. Therefore, I agree that it is important for rich countries to assist poor ones in education and supply them with needed food. The reason why some countries are richer than others is the advanced technology which makes these countries have huge industries. On the other hand, the poor countries lose the scientific and research principles which lead to progress. For example, one of the African poor countries is Somalia, where you hardly find life essentials, besides, there is no education at all, while other countries are very advanced and have not only all forms of life requirement, but also entertainment such as The United States. I believe that if this rich part of the world helps the poor part, all of world problems will be solved immediately. Moreover, enabled countries can improve the poor countries' status by two methods. Firstly, they can provide them with fundamental crops such as rice and corn. Secondly, they can help improving the education by establishing schools in different areas in the needed countries, and this could be a kind of increasing the investment benefits. Thirdly, countries can encourage young people from poor countries to pursue their education abroad and fund them. For instant, Turkish government gives full funded scholarships for Syrians who were harmed in the war. Finally, At the prospective of the world peace, all these forms of assistant can help achieving the patriotic relationships among countries and relieving tensions. In conclusion, it should be struggles to achieve worldwide justice through helping poor countries. Although it is difficult to regularly provide them with food and education, some trials will inspire other countries to participate and may foster competitions to assist.
In the recent centuries, it has been an obvious gap among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due to technological advancement.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
ones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and supply them with needed food.

The reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are richer than others is the advanced technology which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have huge industries. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lose the scientific and research principles which lead to progress.
For example
, one of the African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is Somalia, where you hardly find life essentials,
besides
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at all, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
advanced and have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
all forms of life requirement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
entertainment such as The United States. I believe that if this rich part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
part, all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
problems will
be solved
immediately.

Moreover
, enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries' status by two methods.
Firstly
, they can provide them with fundamental crops such as rice and corn.
Secondly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to improve" or "improve".
improving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by establishing schools in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas in the needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and this could be a kind of increasing the investment benefits.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can encourage young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pursue
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
abroad and fund them. For instant, Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
gives full funded scholarships for Syrians who
were harmed
in the war.
Finally
, At the prospective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace, all these forms of assistant can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to achieve" or "achieve".
achieving
the patriotic relationships among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and relieving tensions.

In conclusion
, it should be struggles to achieve worldwide justice through helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Although it is difficult to
regularly
provide them with food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trials will inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to participate and may foster competitions to assist.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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