Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Traveling abroad gives people opportunities to explore more about the world, however, the differences between all corners of the world are getting smaller due to many reasons. I personally think that the detrimental effects of this trend outweigh its benefits. Firstly I will analyze the causes of these similarities. The first point to note is the resemblances in architecture, which is mainly caused by the assimilation for a very long time. For instance, Vietnam, a country in South East Asia, used to be a colony of China, France, and America for thousands of years. This has resulted in the existence of many French-styled buildings as well as those with Chinese style. Additionally, globalization has led to people’s imitation of lifestyles. Nowadays, the American lifestyle is very popular among young people. They try to catch up with American’s makeup styles, trendy clothes, and their life habits. Moreover, integration can also be considered as the cause of the appearance of skyscrapers, café shops, and restaurants, which are similar views that we can find in downtown areas in all big cities around the world. To demonstrate, KFC and McDonald’s chains can be seen in most parts of the world. It can be clearly seen that this trend is accompanied with many negative aspects. First of all, every nation has their own cultural identities, which is our ancestor’s most treasurable heritage. Cultural globalization will gradually destroy the cultural diversity of each country. Also, this trend will also make global tourism pointless and boring since all places are becoming the same, tourists will be no longer interested in visiting other countries. Another point to note is the damage that globalization has done to the environment. To integrate, each country has to develop, industrialize to compete with others. This economic competition will consequently lead to environmental pollution because of the building of factories and high-rise buildings. Moreover, in the process of globalization, we produce a large number of advanced technologies, which are mostly imported from abroad. This will likely to make people rely on foreign technology and not put efforts in learning and researching. In conclusion, the increase of similarities globally is caused by many factors and in my opinion, it brings more cons than pros.
Traveling abroad gives
people
opportunities to explore more about the world,
however
, the differences between all corners of the world are getting smaller due to
many
reasons. I
personally
think
that the detrimental effects of this trend outweigh its benefits.

Firstly
I will analyze the causes of these similarities. The
first
point to note is the resemblances in architecture, which is
mainly
caused by the assimilation for a
very
long time.
For instance
, Vietnam, a
country
in South East Asia,
used
to be a colony of China, France, and America for thousands of years. This has resulted in the existence of
many
French-styled buildings
as well
as those with Chinese style.
Additionally
, globalization has led to
people’s
imitation of lifestyles. Nowadays, the American lifestyle is
very
popular among young
people
. They try to catch up with American’s makeup styles, trendy clothes, and their life habits.
Moreover
, integration can
also
be considered
as the cause of the appearance of skyscrapers, café shops, and restaurants, which are similar views that we can find in downtown areas in all
big
cities around the world. To demonstrate, KFC and McDonald’s chains can be
seen
in most parts of the world.

It can be
clearly
seen
that this trend is
accompanied with
many
negative
aspects.
First of all
, every nation has their
own
cultural identities, which is our ancestor’s most
treasurable
heritage. Cultural globalization will
gradually
destroy
the cultural diversity of each
country
.
Also
, this trend will
also
make
global tourism pointless and boring since all places are becoming the same, tourists will be no longer interested in visiting other
countries
. Another point to note is the damage that globalization has done to the environment. To integrate, each
country
has to
develop, industrialize to compete with others. This economic competition will
consequently
lead to environmental pollution
because
of the building of factories and high-rise buildings.
Moreover
, in the process of globalization, we produce
a large number of
advanced technologies, which are
mostly
imported from abroad. This will likely to
make
people
rely on foreign technology and not put efforts in learning and researching.

In conclusion
, the increase of similarities globally
is caused
by
many
factors and in my opinion, it brings more cons than pros.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts