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Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? v.4

Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? v. 4
After reckoning enough, I believe that rich or developed nations should share their wealth and resources with those inferior or poorer nations who are starveling and struggling with their system, because there will be a certain hard time which comes to everyone, so for the sake of humanity, such aid should be provided. First of all, there are many countries which are going through some seriously astounding crisis, such as, illiteracy, crashed economy, hunger, no possessions, corrupt leaders, infectious diseases and extremism. If you contemplate these factors closely then you start to realise that everything is directly proportional to each other. We live in a world, where the ratio of diseases and terrorism is increasing exponentially and we are being victimised of its brutality, the good examples of this are Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa and India. Extremist and terrorist often recruit people, who are illiterate and have no conscience over anything. That is why proper education should be provided to those countries where such extremism is ignited over hunger and illiteracy. On the contrary, it should be government's number first priority to look after their citizens and provide them basic necessities. That is why we elect them to be our saviour and be ready to face any catastrophe which comes along. To sum up, I would like to maintain that, instead of being ramified, let's be unanimous and provide an aid to education and food to those countries which are not up to the standards as of first world countries, even if their government fails to sustain it.
After reckoning
enough
, I believe that rich or developed nations should share their wealth and resources with those inferior or poorer nations who are starveling and struggling with their system,
because
there will be a certain
hard
time which
comes
to everyone,
so
for the sake of humanity, such aid should
be provided
.

First of all
, there are
many
countries
which are going through
some
seriously
astounding crisis, such as, illiteracy, crashed economy, hunger, no possessions, corrupt leaders, infectious diseases and extremism. If you contemplate these factors
closely
then you
start
to
realise
that everything is
directly
proportional to each other. We
live
in a world, where the ratio of diseases and terrorism is increasing
exponentially and
we are being
victimised
of its brutality, the
good
examples of this are Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa and India. Extremist and terrorist
often
recruit
people
, who are illiterate and have no conscience over anything.
That is
why proper education should
be provided
to those
countries
where such extremism
is ignited
over hunger and illiteracy.

On the contrary
, it should be
government
's number
first
priority to look after their citizens and provide them
basic necessities
.
That is
why we elect them to be our
saviour
and be ready to face any catastrophe which
comes
along.

To sum up, I would like to maintain that,
instead
of
being ramified
,
let
's be unanimous and provide an aid to education and food to those
countries
which are not up to the standards as of
first
world
countries
, even if their
government
fails to sustain it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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