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Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.5

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. 5
Although it is asserted by some that dwelling in high-rise houses makes some people discontented, others hold the opinion that it is rewarding to live in such buildings. In my perspective, staying in a high-rise apartment block has a plenty of merits such as local facilities and safety. This essay will analyse both standpoints of the argument and present my support for the aforementioned view. Admittedly, a high-rise building has its demerits. The primary factor why some people feel loneliness and dissatisfaction while dwelling in towers is a lack of communication with their neighbours. To be more precise, fast pace of life forces them to become estranged. They tend to be busy with their work and might not have spare time for a social interaction. My close friend, for instance, who lives in the USA, complains that she cannot rely on her neighbours in hard times because she even does not know them. Another cause of feeling unhappy when living in tall buildings is the fear of such a natural calamity as an earthquake, since many of modern buildings are, perhaps, built quickly and some of architectural standards might not be followed. As a result, dwelling in such architectural buildings may bring a sense of aloofness and anxiety, whether the building is disaster-resilient. Opponents, however, claim that there are obvious merits in residing the skyscrapers. The key advantage is that many of these houses may offer their residents multiple amenities like local gyms, swimming pools, libraries and gardens; hence, this allows their dwellers to rejuvenate and reduce stress after a backbreaking work. To illustrate, some Canadian multi-storey buildings which are equipped with necessary facilities help their inhabitants to strengthen relations between the neighbours. Alternatively, the residents of tall buildings may be contented since they are guarded 24 hours. In other words, they feel secure because the risk of burglary is mitigating. If, in contrast, the dwellers of high-rise apartment blocks did not have such conveniences, their life would  not be delighted. In conclusion, while people vary in their opinions, I strongly believe that life in skyscrapers can be comfortable and safe making their dwellers contented.
Although it
is asserted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that dwelling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discontented, others hold the opinion that it is rewarding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. In my perspective, staying in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
apartment block has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of merits such as local facilities and safety. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both standpoints of the argument and present my support for the aforementioned view.

Admittedly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
has its demerits. The primary factor why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel loneliness and dissatisfaction while dwelling in towers is a lack of communication with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. To be more precise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life forces them to become estranged. They tend to be busy with their work and might not have spare time for a social interaction. My close friend,
for instance
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the USA, complains that she cannot rely on her
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she even does not know them. Another cause of feeling unhappy when living in tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is the fear of such a natural calamity as an earthquake, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are, perhaps, built
quickly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of architectural standards might not
be followed
.
As a result
, dwelling in such architectural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
may bring a sense of aloofness and anxiety, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is disaster-resilient.

Opponents,
however
, claim that there are obvious merits in residing the skyscrapers. The key advantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
may offer their residents multiple amenities like local gyms, swimming pools, libraries and gardens;
hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
their dwellers to rejuvenate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a backbreaking work. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Canadian
Possible spelling mistake found.
multi-storey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which
are equipped
with necessary facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their inhabitants to strengthen relations between the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
Alternatively
, the residents of tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
may
be contented
since they
are guarded
24 hours.
In other words
, they feel secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of burglary is mitigating. If,
in contrast
, the dwellers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
apartment blocks did not have such conveniences, their life would
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
not
be delighted
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary in their opinions, I
strongly
believe that life in skyscrapers can be comfortable and safe making their dwellers contented.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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