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Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. v. 6
Accomodation should be chosen wisely as it plays an important role in every individual life. It is argued by some people that life inside the high-rise apartments are not joyful and it will make us feel isolated while others think that it is beneficial to have an accommodation in the high-rise apartments. Although the accommodation in high-rise apartments is good in terms of safety and security, it gives less opportunities to socialize. This essay will discuss both points of views. Safety and security inside the high-rise apartment is more if we compare to that of ordinary houses. To go into detail, these buildings will have all the modern safeguard devices as well fully monitoring system. Therefore, it will be a herculian task for a someone to break into these houses. . For example, all high-rise apartments will have a securities as well as fully covered CCTV networks. Also, these surveillance features are mandatory as per the law. Due to this, living in a high altitude apartment is more secure than living in ordinary one. Conversely, the exposure to the nature and social life in the high-rise apartments is less. To be precise, as there are no communities like those in residential areas, people who like to socialise will feel more isolated. As a result, they will become unhappy. Even though many associations in these complexes are organising social gathering activities, socialise people won't be compromised. Additionally, they do not have enough exposure to nature. For instance, people living in residential areas are more social if we compare to that of apartment complexes. Thus, social gathering options in these houses are very less. In conclusion, as some people says living in high-rise buildings can be beneficial for someone who cares about safety. However, it is an inappropriate place for those who loves social gatherings. In my opinion, living in high-rise buildings are better because it has both safeguard and it has some social gathering activities to make the people happy.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Accomodation
should
be chosen
wisely
as it plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every individual life. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that life inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are not joyful and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel isolated while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is beneficial to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. Although the accommodation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in terms of safety and security, it gives
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities to socialize. This essay will discuss both points of views.

Safety and security inside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is more if we compare to that of ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. To go into detail, these buildings will have all the modern safeguard devices
as well
fully
monitoring system.
Therefore
, it will be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
herculian
task for
Possible typo. Did you mean "a" or "someone"?
a someone
to break into these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
will have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a security" or simply "securities"?
a securities
as well
as
fully
covered CCTV networks.
Also
, these surveillance features are mandatory as per the law. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a high altitude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is more secure than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in ordinary one.

Conversely
, the exposure to the nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is less. To be precise, as there are no communities like those in residential areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('socialise' and 'socialize') within a single text.
socialise
will feel more isolated.
As a result
, they will become unhappy.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
associations in these complexes are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gathering
activities,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('socialise' and 'socialize') within a single text.
socialise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won't
be compromised
.
Additionally
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exposure to nature.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in residential areas are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
if we compare to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
complexes.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gathering
options in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
buildings can be beneficial for someone who cares about safety.
However
, it is an inappropriate place for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gatherings
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-rise
buildings are better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has both safeguard and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gathering
activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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