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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? v.26

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. v. 26
Nowadays, most of the employers are earning a big salary, respective of their job position. Some people only focus on job satisfaction rather than salary. At the same time, everyone has their own benefits and drawbacks. Firstly, I want to discuss about high earning people. Many of the people are earning five digit salary as their staring income because of their education background and skills. By improving their knowledge in specifically designed areas or by changing their technology, they are promoted to higher levels within a short span of time. Obviously, they are provided with a high salary. Once their income is increased, the person's life becomes a luxury. They will buy car, house, jewellery and some properties by taking loans from the banks even though they are paying this money EMI to banks. This will create pressure on the person, if he lost his job. If he search for a new job, he needs a large salary sometimes he may change his path towards his earnings. Secondly, few people are giving importance to job satisfaction only. They will stick to that area or technology, in spite of many technologies arise and they will upgrade themselves only in that area even though the opportunities are very rare. For example, farmers are given their priority to agriculture only, instead of any natural calamities occur. They did not change their occupation by giving priority to job satisfaction. These persons are expecting promotions and big salary only in their areas by giving importance to job satisfaction. They believe that if the job they are doing is happy, then their relations with the family will also be better because these people will not carry stress into the house. In conclusion, I strongly agree that job satisfaction is essential than earning big amounts of salaries. Money is needed only up to a certain extent, beyond the necessities it became a luxury. The job what we are doing whole heartedly will give respect and position in the society, helps in building the family relations and makes them satisfactory in all areas.
Nowadays, most of the employers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, respective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. At the same time, everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks.

Firstly
, I want to
Did you mean simply "discuss high"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
five digit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as their staring income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their education background and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. By improving their knowledge in
specifically
designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
or by changing their technology, they
are promoted
to higher levels within a short span of time.
Obviously
, they
are provided
with a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. Once their income
is increased
, the person's life becomes a luxury. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
car,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
properties by taking loans from the banks
even though
they are paying this money EMI to banks. This will create pressure on the person, if he lost his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. If he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "searches", "searched".
search
for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he needs a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his path towards his earnings.

Secondly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. They will stick to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
or technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technologies
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
arise and
they will upgrade themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
even though
the opportunities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare.
For example
, farmers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their priority to agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
,
instead
of any natural calamities occur. They did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their occupation by giving priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. These persons are expecting promotions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by giving importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. They believe that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they are doing is happy, then their relations with the family will
also
be better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
Use "(essential)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
essential
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. Money
is needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
up to a certain extent, beyond the necessities it became a luxury. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
what we are doing whole
heartedly
will give respect and position in the society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building the family relations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them satisfactory in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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