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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v.12

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12
It is true that many museums charge some entry free for their spectators, while going to the museum exhibit centre. However, i accept that this do's and don't s has some positive impact for the User. I believe that this key factor is more helpful to maintain the resources in the museum. To begin with, charging people to access the museum has some detrimental effects of the visitor. The first and most reason is that all are not capable to bear a good chunk of money in entrance the museum. Moreover, children have a lot of eagerness to go this healthy place. If, in general, the executive body emphasizes to bound in giving the entry charge. As a result, they cannot access to enhance their knowledge in watching various pristine heritages, which is more valuable to know in their early age. During the tender age, for example, scientists suggested that all students should know about the world and their norms, traditions, cultures, which can provide a worthwhile place that are in the museum. In other words, most of the museum is undertaken in getting the governing fund. Therefore, charging policy is one of the barriers to enjoy these amenities. Furthermore, to make the effective citizen is more inevitable to have the same opportunity for individual inaccessible in the museum. It is noteworthy that some booming economical countries give an opportunity in their citizens in free appear in enjoying their heritages. Hence, charging money in the museum not only disappear enhance their knowledge in essence areas, but also hindrance in growing their creativity in different fields. Notwithstanding, some museums consider that it is a source of revenue. On the other hand, despite the negative consequence in charging policy, I believe that to defence these ancient heritage is more responsibilities for the museum to give the right security service. Besides, a museum has various types of natural resources, for which these valuable items need to maintain a profuse amount of money apart from state funding. There are many eminent museums in the world, The British museum, for instance, has numerous types of ancient fossils, which has been researching for ages that require various chemical items. Although, for buying these chemicals has to be invested a lot of dollars in every year, which is not solely possible for the government to invest in this sector. Therefore, charging policy helps them to maintain these valuable items. In other words, the museum can attract a lot of tourists in every year, which is the source of revenue. Louvre museum in Paris, as an example, exhibits different sort of ancient heritages, for watching these aesthetic beauty, many tourists go to that place, which increase the annual revenue in this museum. In conclusion, it seems to me the charging policy in the museum has its merits. I would like to say that its merits far better than that of demerits.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "entries"?
entry
free for their spectators, while going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
exhibit
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
accept that
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "this does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this do
's and don't s has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact for the User. I believe that this key factor is more helpful to maintain the resources in the museum.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects of the visitor. The
first
and most reason is that all are not capable to bear a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chunk of money in entrance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Moreover
, children have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
eagerness to go this healthy place. If,
in general
, the executive body emphasizes to bound in giving the entry charge.
As a result
, they cannot access to enhance their knowledge in watching various pristine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
, which is more valuable to know in their early age. During the tender age,
for example
, scientists suggested that all students should know about the world and their norms, traditions, cultures, which can provide a worthwhile place that are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
In other words
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is undertaken in getting the governing fund.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
is one of the barriers to enjoy these amenities.
Furthermore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the effective citizen is more inevitable to have the same opportunity for individual inaccessible in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. It is noteworthy that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
booming economical countries give an opportunity in their citizens in free appear in enjoying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disappear enhance their knowledge in essence areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hindrance in growing their creativity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields. Notwithstanding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
consider that it is a source of revenue.

On the other hand
, despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
, I believe that to
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
these ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
is more responsibilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to give the right security service.
Besides
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has various types of natural resources, for which these valuable items need to maintain a profuse amount of money apart from state funding. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
eminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in the world, The British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
,
for instance
, has numerous types of ancient fossils, which has been researching for ages that require various chemical items. Although, for buying these chemicals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dollars in every year, which is not
solely
possible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to invest in this sector.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain these valuable items.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists in every year, which is the source of revenue. Louvre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in Paris, as an example, exhibits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sort of ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritages
, for watching these aesthetic beauty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists go to that place, which increase the annual revenue in this museum.

In conclusion
, it seems to me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has its merits. I would like to say that its merits far better than that of demerits.
27Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
483 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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