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Some say that news has no connection with most people’s life and it is waste of time for most of us to read newspapers and watch television news programs. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some say that news has no connection with most people’s life and it is waste of time for most of us to read newspapers and watch television news programs. v. 1
I live in Hanoi where has good food. If asked whether it is choosing a stable job or seeking a job that gives more satisfaction, many would struggle to make the final choice. While a stable job has its own benefits, I opine that job’s sense of fulfilment is essential. My twofold essay will demonstrate this perspective in details. On the one hand, there are strong reasons why holding down the same job for a long time appeals to many people. Firstly, people would benefit from better job prospects, which include promotion opportunities and pay rises, if they stayed in a job long term. As experience and commitment are both taken into consideration when a company decides who to promote or to dismiss, those who work longer for an organization might stand a higher chance of moving up the ladder and earning a more lucrative living. Besides, there are various perks that follow when people have stable jobs, namely sick leave, holiday entitlement, a generous retirement package or yearly bonuses. In addition to improved job prospects, thanks to a steady job, the employers could establish a wide network of partners as well as gain supportive long-term colleagues. On the other hand, there is a plethora of advantages of jobs that bring job satisfaction to people. It is obvious that people might have to switch job many times to find the appropriate job, that mean they have the chance to try their hands at different fields and thus acquire more skills. In other words, the progress of seek jobs may help people able to put the knowledge gained from previous employment into practice in the new workplace and broaden their horizons in their fields. Moreover, if people do not have the sense of fulfilment when they are in the working environment, they might not have the willpower to pursue a successful career. Many young people in Viet Nam, for example, have chosen the steady jobs or the desk jobs which they have been reluctant to do and then, they have had to switch careers to seek more dynamic opportunities in the light of the feeling of the borings, which they have had to deal with.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Hanoi where has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food.

If asked whether it is choosing a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or seeking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that gives more satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the final choice. While a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job’s
sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
is essential. My twofold essay will demonstrate this perspective in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, there are strong reasons why holding down the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a long time appeals to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would benefit from better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects, which include promotion opportunities and pay rises, if they stayed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
long term. As experience and commitment are both taken into consideration when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
decides who to promote or to dismiss, those who work longer for an organization might stand a higher chance of moving up the ladder and earning a more lucrative living.
Besides
, there are various perks that follow when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
namely
sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, holiday entitlement, a generous retirement package or yearly bonuses.
In addition
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospects, thanks to a steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the employers could establish a wide network of partners
as well
as gain supportive long-term colleagues.

On the other hand
, there is a plethora of advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times to find the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, that mean they have the chance to try their hands at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields and
thus
acquire more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In other words
, the progress of seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
able to put the knowledge gained from previous employment into practice in the new workplace and broaden their horizons in their fields.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have the sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
when they are in the working environment, they might not have the willpower to pursue a successful career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
for example
, have chosen the steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or the desk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which they have been reluctant to do and then, they have had to switch careers to seek more dynamic opportunities in the light of the feeling of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
borings
, which they have had to deal with.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that news has no connection with most people’s life and it is waste of time for most of us to read newspapers and watch television news programs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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