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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 1
The leadership age is a controversial issue nowadays. While some people are of the view that the manager should be young, others have a diverse view. I am of the belief that young generations should take their opportunity on community. The reasons will be outlined below. To begin with, recently, young leaders are more influenced to the latest technology revolution. Not only does youth have the scientific knowledge of the latest inventions, but also they know how to use it to develop their managerial skills. On other words, youth leadership has become a global leap; they can apply modern strategies better than the senior leaders. A prime example, widely spread of training programs for young on the internet which highlight the importance of youth positions. In addition to this, youth can accept training and development. To illustrate, they can show the passion to study the latest theories leading to positive impact on their skills. Moreover, a noticeable number of young generations study abroad and learn the ways to manage the company and even the society. They aim to succeed and leave a mark in their career to prove their responsibilities which will give chance to the following generation to raise the challenge between them. This will help to decrease the unemployment. For instance, the successful French president, Emmanuel Macron, was publicly selected by the end of his thirties due to his honourable political career history. In conclusion, if young people have the appropriate chance to become managers, they will benefit their country with latest leadership techniques. In my opinion, they deserve to be leaders for all community organisations.
The leadership age is a controversial issue nowadays. While
some
people
are of the view that the manager should be
young
, others have a diverse view. I am of the belief that
young
generations should take their opportunity on community. The reasons will
be outlined
below.

To
begin
with, recently,
young
leaders are more influenced to the latest technology revolution. Not
only
does
youth
have the scientific knowledge of the latest inventions,
but
also
they know how to
use
it to develop their managerial
skills
. On other words,
youth
leadership has become a global leap; they can apply modern strategies better than the senior leaders. A prime example,
widely
spread of training programs for
young
on the internet which highlight the importance of
youth
positions.

In addition
to this,
youth
can accept training and development. To illustrate, they can
show
the passion to study the latest theories leading to
positive
impact on their
skills
.
Moreover
, a noticeable number of
young
generations study abroad and learn the ways to manage the
company
and even the society. They aim to succeed and
leave
a mark in their career to prove their responsibilities which will give chance to the following generation to raise the challenge between them. This will
help
to decrease the unemployment.
For instance
, the successful French president, Emmanuel Macron, was
publicly
selected by the
end
of his thirties due to his
honourable
political career history.

In conclusion
, if
young
people
have the appropriate chance to become managers, they will benefit their country with
latest
leadership techniques. In my opinion, they deserve to be leaders for all community
organisations
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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