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Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion. v.4

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Give your own opinion. v. 4
Advertisers target children because they get influenced easily. When they see advertisements of snacks and toys on television they will want those products for themselves. This makes selling easier. Some people believe that marketers must not be allowed to target children. I certainly agree with that view. Children are too young to distinguish good from bad and right from wrong. They believe all that they see on TV. Manufacturers of fast foods and toys spend a lot of money on advertising their products to children. They only show the positive aspects of their products. Fast foods like instant noodles can cause several health programs. Children don’t understand this. They insist on having those products for breakfast or even lunch and parents are forced to satisfy those cravings. One can’t quite blame the children either. When they see models of their age eating certain foods or playing with certain toys in commercials, they will want those things for themselves. Advertisers know this better than anybody else. That is why they are targeting kids in the first place. Parents are helpless here. They know such products aren’t good for their children, but they also want to indulge their kids. Today’s nuclear families revolve around the children. Sometimes parents even buy expensive toys that they cannot afford. They want to keep their children happy, no matter what. To conclude, I certainly agree with the argument that advertisements targeting young children should be banned. It is easy to influence the thought process of kids. Brands should not be allowed to exploit this weakness. When advertisers market their products to children, they aren’t doing anyone except themselves a service.
Advertisers target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced
easily
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertisements of snacks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
on television they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for themselves.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
selling easier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that marketers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that view.

Children are too young to distinguish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. They believe all that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV. Manufacturers of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on advertising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
foods like instant noodles can cause several health programs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
don’t understand this. They insist on having those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for breakfast or even lunch and parents
are forced
to satisfy those cravings. One can’t quite blame the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
either. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
models of their age eating certain foods or playing with certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in commercials, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
those things for themselves. Advertisers know this better than anybody else.
That is
why they are targeting kids in the
first
place.

Parents are helpless here. They know such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
aren’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to indulge their kids.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s nuclear families revolve around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
parents even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
that they cannot afford. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
happy, no matter what.

To conclude
, I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that advertisements targeting young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be banned
. It is easy to influence the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of kids. Brands should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to exploit this weakness. When advertisers market their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they aren’t doing anyone except themselves a service.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Give your own opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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