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Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far do you agree to this statement? v.2

Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far v. 2
For centuries men were responsible for earning a living for the whole family and women were supposed to take good care of their children and home. Thus, creating a mindset that only women are capable of good parenting. I, however, believe that the roles of men and women have changed drastically over the past few decades, now they both are equally involved in the lives of their children. Women have significant advantages when it comes to parenting. Firstly, it is the mother who bears the child, providing her the essential edge to build a stronger relationship with her little one. Secondly, girls in our society are raised in such a way that they tend to become natural caregiver mainly because of their motherly instinct. Lastly, it can be seen that women are generally polite, compassionate, and affable; as a result, when children face any challenging situation in their life, they tend to share it with their mother instead of the father. Therefore, the traits, such as loving, caring and being polite in a woman supports the viewpoint that they make excellent parents. However, society has transformed. Now, men and women are equally capable of sharing all the responsibilities whether at home or out in the world. For instance, in big cities, generally both parents are working and they do not have the luxury of time that is why they divide their work. If women in the house oversee the household work, men have to supervise their children' s homework and school assignments. Also, fathers can be seen attending the parents-teachers meetings and taking their children to play dates when necessary. Moreover, there are plenty of examples where father single handily raised a child and they grow up to be a beautiful human being. Thus, it can be said that women are no longer the sole flag bearer of good parenting. To conclude, the assertion that woman makes better parents no longer hold any grounds because of the active participation of fathers in their children’s lives.
For centuries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were responsible for earning a living for the whole family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were supposed
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and home.
Thus
, creating a mindset that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are capable of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting. I,
however
, believe that the roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
over the past few decades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they both are
equally
involved in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their children.

Women have significant advantages when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to parenting.
Firstly
, it is the mother who bears the child, providing her the essential edge to build a stronger relationship with her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one.
Secondly
, girls in our society
are raised
in such a way that they tend to become natural caregiver
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
motherly
instinct.
Lastly
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
generally
polite, compassionate, and affable;
as a result
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face any challenging situation in their life, they tend to share it with their mother
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
.
Therefore
, the traits, such as loving, caring and being polite in a woman supports the viewpoint that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
excellent parents.

However
, society has transformed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
equally
capable of sharing all the responsibilities whether at home or out in the world.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities,
generally
both parents are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they do not have the luxury of time
that is
why they divide their work. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
oversee the household work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
supervise their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s homework and school assignments.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
attending the parents-teachers meetings and taking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to play dates when necessary.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of examples where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
single
handily
raised a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
they grow up to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
human being.
Thus
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are no longer the sole flag bearer of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting.

To conclude
, the assertion that woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
better parents no longer hold any grounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the active participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Women are better parents than men. Or women are only as good as men in parenting. How far v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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