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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to have rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to wear at work and at school. v.815

It is important to have rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to wear at work and at school. v. 815
No one would doubt that everyone wants work or study without limitation, especially, about what to wear, so majority of people may hold that rules about what to wear at work and at school is not crucial. However, according to the following reasons and some of my personal experiences, I believe that it is important to have rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to wear at work and at school. First, headers of companies or schools want to control people who can enter into the companies or the campus, and regulating what people wear allows janitors to distinguish whether comers are employees, students or someone else. Take recent event in my city for example, a guy ran into an elementary school and killed a girl. According to reports, it was the casual-wearing day, so the guy could sneak into the campus without being noticed. However, if the school had required everyone to wear uniforms, the tragedy might not occur. Therefore, to secure the entrances, it is vital to set rules about what to wear at work or at school. Secondly, people want to work or study efficiently, and following the wearing instructions can make sure that people can save time. Take Fred, my younger brother, for example, Fred always spends his time in deciding what to wear every morning. Furthermore, women in his office always wear attractive and sexy. As a result, Fred seldom gets to work punctually, and while working, Fred is distracted. Unlike Fred, my coworkers and I always wear as my boss requires, so we do not have to pick up what to wear before work, and we can focus on our tasks. Consequently, employees would not be distracted, which saves a lot of time. Last but not least, people regard safety as the most important thing, and wearing as ruled can keep workers or students safe. For instance, in some factories, to avoid the machines to roll the clothes into the equipment, the employers may ask workers to wear simple and neat suits. Additionally, most schools require students to wear appropriate clothes for their PE classes, then students may not stumble. Hence, to keep workers or students from danger, it is necessary to regulate what people should wear to works or schools. Admittedly, once no one constrain about what to wear to companies or schools, people may be happier, so it may seem reasonable that regulating what people wear is not essential. Yet, based on aforementioned analyses, I still agree that it is important to have rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to wear at work and at school.
No one would doubt that everyone wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study without limitation,
especially
, about what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
about what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not crucial.
However
, according to the following reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my personal experiences, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
about the types of clothing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and at school.

First
, headers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
want to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can enter into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or the campus, and regulating what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
janitors to distinguish whether comers are employees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
or someone else. Take recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in my city
for example
, a guy ran into an elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and killed a girl. According to reports, it was the casual-wearing day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the guy could sneak into the campus without
being noticed
.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
had required everyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
uniforms, the tragedy might not occur.
Therefore
, to secure the entrances, it is vital to set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
about what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or at school.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study
efficiently
, and following the wearing instructions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save time. Take Fred, my younger brother,
for example
, Fred always spends his time in deciding what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
every morning.
Furthermore
, women in his office always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
attractive and sexy.
As a result
, Fred seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
punctually
, and while working, Fred
is distracted
. Unlike Fred, my coworkers and I always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
as my boss requires,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pick up what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and we can focus on our tasks.
Consequently
, employees would not
be distracted
, which saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard safety as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing, and wearing as ruled can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
workers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
safe.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factories, to avoid the machines to roll the clothes into the equipment, the employers may ask workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
simple and neat suits.
Additionally
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
appropriate clothes for their PE classes, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may not stumble.
Hence
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
workers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, it is necessary to regulate what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
to works or schools.

Admittedly
, once no one constrain about what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be happier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may seem reasonable that regulating what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
is not essential.
Yet
, based on aforementioned analyses, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
about the types of clothing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important to have rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to wear at work and at school. v. 815

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
441 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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