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Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and real life examples. v.3

Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Give your opinion and real life examples. v. 3
A growing number of people insist that pragmatic techniques namely financial education should be enlightened in high schools only. I am totally in favour of this idea and this essay will support my opinion with relevant examples. To begin with, mastering such great arts can be an extremely beneficial in various ways. One of the most positives is that the majority of students are compelled to allocate money wisely and ultimately save big amount of money. To illustrate, these young pupils in the future usually tend to know where their money is going every month and often watch total expenditures for few months owing to guidance and directions of teachers. There can be no doubt that this type of really worthwhile strategy can bring a substantial profit as these master plans allow them to see where they could spend less and readjust the budget to plan for more money to go in savings. Secondly, acquiring practical skills in school might prevent students to stay out of debt. For an instance, if students learnt proper management of money skills early, it is more likely that many of them would stay clear from falling behind. Which means that making payment on time, certainly not going over the limit on credit card far and never overdrawing bank account may pull them under than the blink of an eye. Therefore, it can be said without any dilemma that implementing learnt skills could keep you saving more money and eventually getting rid of being burdened with massive debts, bills and rest others. Last but not least, another important benefit is the peace of mind. Needless to say, there is absolutely nothing worse than looking at the stack of bills on the counter and knowing that you cannot pay them this month. So when you are able to manage your money correctly and experience the benefits to good money management skills, you have the sense of pride as well as a peace of mind knowing that you are providing for your needs as well as those of your family. To conclude, the positive impact of these skills are endless. Therefore, the government ought to encourage schools by subsidising and lowering the taxes on them.
A growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that pragmatic techniques
namely
financial education should
be enlightened
in high schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. I am
totally
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and this essay will support my opinion with relevant examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, mastering such great arts can be an
extremely
beneficial in various ways. One of the most positives is that the majority of students
are compelled
to allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
and
ultimately
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To illustrate, these young pupils in the future
usually
tend to know where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is going every month and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
total expenditures for few months owing to guidance and directions of teachers. There can be no doubt that this type of
really
worthwhile strategy can bring a substantial profit as these master plans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
where they could spend less and readjust the budget to plan for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to go in savings.

Secondly
, acquiring practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in school might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
students to stay out of debt. For an instance, if students
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
proper management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
early, it is more likely that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them would stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from falling behind. Which means that making payment on time,
certainly
not going over the limit on credit card far and never overdrawing bank account may pull them
Use "(under)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
under
than the blink of an eye.
Therefore
, it can
be said
without any dilemma that implementing
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you saving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
eventually
getting rid of
being burdened
with massive debts, bills and rest others.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit is the peace of mind. Needless to say, there is
absolutely
nothing worse than looking at the stack of bills on the counter and knowing that you cannot pay them this month.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when you are able to manage your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
correctly
and experience the benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, you have the sense of pride
as well
as a peace of mind knowing that you are providing for your needs
as well
as those of your family.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are endless.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to encourage schools by
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
and lowering the taxes on them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Give your opinion and real life examples. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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