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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.6

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 6
In today’s world upbringing of kids matters a lot. Nurturing adolescents in the right manner is possibly the most important factor. Hence, it is generally advised that all the folks must take a course which will further guide them towards better parenting. In my opinion, society apparently need such courses but we should not commercialize it. In this essay we will discuss in depth about the benefits of such courses as well as a shortcoming to it. To begin with, it is rightly said as you sow so shall you reap. If children are taken care of at an early age they will become civilized nationals. Parents are whole and sole onus for molding a child’s future. Hence, it is always advisable for new parents to learn from online courses or from classes which are conducted face-to-face. This will undoubtedly help them to tackle kid’s psychology and have perception as per child’s requirement. In addition, government can also organize seminars and workshops related to nurturing children with care. For Instance, if such courses are provided free of cost even the rural population can benefit from it. However, it is usually observed that any good deeds are eventually commercialized. Although, educating parents about raising kids is not a difficult thing to be taught and they just require a little guidance. Unfortunately, there are organizations making money and misleading the society on a wrong path. For instance, few organizations conduct training in international locations and try to shell out money from people. In conclusion, even though this courses will benefit parents to understand their child and care for them in a better way they should also be aware of hoax training centers before joining.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world upbringing of kids matters a lot. Nurturing adolescents in the right manner is
possibly
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor.
Hence
, it is
generally
advised that all the folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which will
further
guide them towards better parenting. In my opinion, society
apparently
need such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not commercialize it. In this essay we will discuss in depth about the benefits of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
as well
as a shortcoming to it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
rightly
said as you sow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
shall you reap.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
children
are taken
care of at an early age they will become civilized nationals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are whole and sole onus for molding a child’s future.
Hence
, it is always advisable for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to learn from online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
or from classes which
are conducted
face-to-face. This will
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to tackle kid’s psychology and have perception as per child’s requirement.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
organize seminars and workshops related to nurturing children with care.
For Instance
, if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are provided
free of cost even the rural population can benefit from it.

However
, it is
usually
observed that any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds are
eventually
commercialized. Although, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about raising kids is not a difficult thing to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
taught and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
require a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
guidance. Unfortunately, there are organizations making money and misleading the society on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
For instance
, few organizations conduct training in international locations and try to shell out money from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
even though
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to understand their child and care for them in a better way they should
also
be aware of hoax training centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. with this view? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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