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It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disa v.3

It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. 3
Nowadays, there is a positive trend of improving our life and education play in a vital role in this process. It is believed that education was taught in school are too academic and others think it would be more useful for children to learn about practical training. Who is right? On one hand, some people argued that academic teaching and practical training are both important education for children. first of all, academic teaching provide profound knowlede which allow students get more detail information in subjects. If student do not study in academic teaching way, business students will not get any ideas of banking and finace or law student do not know about government law which require student to pass before becoming a lawyer. Hence, academic training is realy useful for student who wants to get a high position in white-collar worker in a long term career. Furthermore, practical training also contribute a significant role in education. Practical training provides a short time to study which help student get a blue-collar worker job easily. Recently, there is a incresing number of high school student chose to study practical training in many countries as soon as they graduate. For example in Singapore, student want to become a waiter or waitress they can study in practical training for a month before getting job in restaurants. As a result, students less depend on their family finance. However, academic and practical training bring some disadvantage for those who study. Learning in academic way require student study for a long time. For instance, a law student must study 5 years before becoming a lawer of doctor must take 6 years before working in hospital. In addition, student follows practical training will not be ensured about the high position in career because most of the job for this training is hand work. In conclusion, in my point of view, I think both academic teaching and practical training are necessary for children. The rate of teaching academic or practical training are varying attributed to the subject students following.
Nowadays, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend of improving our life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
play in a vital role in this process. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was taught
in school are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be more useful for children to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. Who is right?

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for children.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
provide profound
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlede
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more detail information in subjects. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
way, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of banking and
Possible spelling mistake found.
finace
or law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
do not know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
law which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
becoming a lawyer.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
realy
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high position in white-collar worker in a long term career.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
also
contribute a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
provides a short time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a blue-collar worker job
easily
. Recently, there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresing
number of high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
chose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they graduate.
For example
in Singapore,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
want to become a waiter or waitress they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for a month
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
getting job in restaurants.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
less depend on their family finance.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage for those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
way require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for a long time.
For instance
, a law
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
5 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
becoming a
Possible spelling mistake found.
lawer
of doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take 6 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
working in hospital.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
follows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
will not
be ensured
about the high position in career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the job for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is hand work.

In conclusion
, in my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are necessary for children. The rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are varying attributed to the subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
following.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
65Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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