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Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and real life examples. v.1

Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Give your opinion and real life examples. v. 1
Even though various kinds of disciplinary methods are used to correct students’ deleterious behaviour in schools, the most criticized one could be corporal punishment. Supporters of this argue that by using this, children can be easily corrected than any other, whereas others think that, due to this, children may suffer a lot both physically and mentally. In my opinion, I consider, students should not be punished in this manner. On the one hand, supporters of physical punishment point out that problematic students often stop to disturb other students in the class and maintain appropriate and acceptable behaviour. Similarly, they understand, unacceptable behaviour can be punishable and this should not be continued. Take cheating in exam as an example, when a learner is corrected by this method not only assist him to change his own character, but others in the class also learn from this. By doing this, therefore, maintain a peaceful and conducive atmosphere in schools On the other hand, those who are against of the above argument, considering that, when a child corrected by using physical abusing, this not only causes physical trauma, but emotional disturbance as well. This may have several long term repercussions, that may impact on their later life negatively. A recent study, for instance, reported that, the majority of the criminals who had received corporal punishment, when they were growing up. This created a rebellious attitude towards others and turn, then, against the legal system and became criminals in their adulthood. By way of conclusion, disciplinary actions often, including, abusing children by physically, according to some; however, there remains some disagreements. I, again, reaffirm that young generations must be treated with mutual respect and dignity, rather than correct them either smacking or beating.
Even though
various kinds of disciplinary methods are
used
to correct
students’
deleterious
behaviour
in schools, the most criticized one could be corporal punishment. Supporters of this argue that by using this, children can be
easily
corrected than any
other
, whereas others
think
that, due to this, children may suffer a lot both
physically
and mentally. In my opinion, I consider,
students
should not
be punished
in this manner.

On the one hand, supporters of physical punishment point out that problematic
students
often
stop
to disturb
other
students
in the
class
and maintain appropriate and acceptable
behaviour
.
Similarly
, they understand, unacceptable
behaviour
can be punishable and this should not
be continued
. Take cheating in exam as an example, when a learner
is corrected
by this method not
only
assist him to
change
his
own
character,
but
others in the
class
also
learn from this. By doing this,
therefore
, maintain a peaceful and conducive atmosphere in
schools


On the
other
hand, those who are against of the above argument, considering that, when a child corrected by using physical abusing, this not
only
causes physical trauma,
but
emotional disturbance
as well
. This may have several long term repercussions, that may impact on their later life
negatively
. A recent study,
for instance
, reported that, the majority of the criminals who had received corporal punishment, when they were growing up. This created a rebellious attitude towards others and turn, then, against the legal system and became criminals in their adulthood.

By way of conclusion, disciplinary actions
often
, including, abusing children by
physically
, according to
some
;
however
, there remains
some
disagreements. I, again, reaffirm that young generations
must
be treated
with mutual respect and dignity,
rather
than correct them either smacking or beating.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some practical skills such as money management should be taught in high school. Give your opinion and real life examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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