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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.9

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 9
Many people start their job with a thought of continuing their job in the same company for entire professional life, while some people prefer to switch between different organisation after a certain time. In the following paragraphs I shall discuss both viewpoints. I believe that working for different firms can be advantageous in terms of skill development and financial growth. There are many reasons why some people think of doing work in the same firm for entire life. Firstly, they believe that being loyal to company means to be connected to the company and serving it wholeheartedly. Secondly, they don’t want to put themselves in a hassle of searching a new job and getting absorbed in an environment of the new firm. On the other hand, those who think that working for different companies is beneficial, give their reasons as follows. To begin with, if they work for different firms, they learn new skills which help them in upgrading their career. Secondly, by moving to new company they get much better hike in their salary which results in financial improvement. I also hold the opinion that people who remain in one organisation for entire vocational life spend their life doing the same work repeatedly and not learning new skills to upgrade themselves. Without new skills, it is very hard to get increment and also in the long run it will lead to low confidence in attempting other work. In conclusion, I believe that working for the same firm may provide stability, but it is also possible it may lead to an attitude of lethargic towards attempting another kind of work. Hence, I am strongly opposed to the idea of human beings trying to remain in the same organisation for their entire working career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their job with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of continuing their job in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to switch between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
after a certain time. In the following paragraphs I shall discuss both viewpoints. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
can be advantageous in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development and financial growth.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, they believe that being loyal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
means to
be connected
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and serving it
wholeheartedly
.
Secondly
, they don’t want to put themselves in a hassle of searching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job and getting absorbed in an environment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
firm.

On the other hand
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is beneficial, give their reasons as follows. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
, they learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in upgrading their career.
Secondly
, by moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much better hike in their salary which results in financial improvement.

I
also
hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who remain in one
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
doing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
repeatedly
and not learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to upgrade themselves. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
increment and
also
in the long run it will lead to low confidence in attempting other work.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
may provide stability,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
possible it may lead to an attitude of lethargic towards attempting another kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Hence
, I am
strongly
opposed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of human beings trying to remain in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
career.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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