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Gender imbalance has long been a general phenomenon not only in the labor market but also in formal education. Some analysts argue that it is impossible to eliminate the underrepresentation of women in some subjects in the university. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Gender imbalance has long been a general phenomenon not only in the labor market but also in formal education. Some analysts argue that it is impossible to eliminate the underrepresentation of women in some subjects in the university. v. 1
Gender inequalities in the field of education and employment, is a controversial topic from the age of antiquity. Although participation of women in various roles which were once considered impossible has improved to a larger extend, the notion that certain areas is still impossible for women is still prevalent. Though I agree that women are not adequately represented in fewer courses, at the same time, I also believe that with proper awareness and training, a solution to this can be brought. Nowadays, women are very proactive in finding a suitable employment and contributing financially to the family. However, there is an underepresentation of women in certain courses like mechanical engineering, aeronautical engineering in the universities. This could be due to the physical demands of the course. Though it is proven that men are physically stronger than women, there are instances where women, through systematic training have shown power equivalent to any man. For example, in an article published in The Hindu last Friday, it was reported that a 23 year old woman lifted the same amount of weight as compared to a 23 year old man in a weightlifting competition held in Surat. So it is clear that it is not the matter of muscle power, but the training. If certain credits is allotted while studying to physical training, especially in courses which require manual work, this would improve the enrolment rates of women to a larger extend. Another reason could also be the lack of awareness or motivation to join such programs. A good knowledge about the course and the job prospects could make a large difference to the women's attitude towards these kinds of jobs. Brochures, which highlights special provisions for women during the course would provide them the confidence to apply for such studies. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that it is impossible to eliminate reduced representation of ladies in certain courses. On the contrary, it is the responsibility of the educational system to attract more women candidates to the courses by supporting them with necessary trainings and clear information.
Gender inequalities in the field of education and employment, is a controversial topic from the age of antiquity. Although participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in various roles which were once considered impossible has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to a larger extend, the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
areas is
still
impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
still
prevalent. Though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
adequately
represented in fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, at the same time, I
also
believe that with proper awareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, a solution to this can
be brought
.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proactive in finding a suitable employment and contributing
financially
to the family.
However
, there is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
underepresentation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
like mechanical engineering, aeronautical engineering in the universities. This could be due to the physical demands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. Though it
is proven
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
physically
stronger than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, there are instances where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, through systematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
have shown power equivalent to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For example
, in an article published in The Hindu last Friday, it
was reported
that a 23 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
woman lifted the same amount of weight as compared to a 23 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in a weightlifting competition held in Surat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is not the matter of muscle power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
credits
is allotted
while studying to physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which require manual work, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to a larger extend.

Another reason could
also
be the lack of awareness or motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such programs. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and the job prospects could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a large difference to the women's attitude towards these kinds of jobs. Brochures, which highlights special provisions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
would provide them the confidence to apply for such studies.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
disagree that it is impossible to eliminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
representation of ladies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
On the contrary
, it is the responsibility of the educational system to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
candidates to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
by supporting them with necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
information.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Gender imbalance has long been a general phenomenon not only in the labor market but also in formal education. Some analysts argue that it is impossible to eliminate the underrepresentation of women in some subjects in the university. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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