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Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 1
It is thought that some particular criminals should undertake community service instead of imprisonment. In my point of view, I believe that doing community work is the most appropriate punishment for offenders in certain cases. To begin with, non-paying job should be entitled to people especially minors who commit an insignificant crime. Such jobs act as a more effective deterrent than prison since the criminals just need a short interval of time to improve their behavior and the lengthy prison sentence is not suitable. For example, when the offenders are convicted to steal modest objects like a watch, a bag, small quantity of money and so on, the jury can tackle the case by giving them hours doing community services. Besides, the individuals who just steal few things often have acceptable manner and their guilty action is usually temporary. Therefore, works which benefit the society should be handled by them. Apparently, unpaid work is the best option to solve the minor case so that the society is enhanced and the criminals are justifiably punished at the same time. Secondly, another advantage of prisoners doing community service is that it prevents over-crowed offenders in local prison. Since the crime is increasing dramatically in the present time, more and more guilty people are put in prison. In that case, a court of law will chose to sentence the criminals by giving them non-paying jobs instead of incarceration. Moreover, this measure taken by the jury can also reduce lack of supervision in prison as well as avoid locating minor criminals in and harsh and detrimental prison environment. Due to such advantages, it is undeniable that the community work policy for the minor prisoners works very effectively. In summary, community services are considered as the more proper way to punish slightly guilty prisoners rather than imprison them in some particular cases.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should undertake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
instead
of imprisonment. In my point of view, I believe that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the most appropriate punishment for offenders in certain cases.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, non-paying job should
be entitled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minors
who commit an insignificant crime. Such jobs act as a more effective deterrent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need a short interval of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their behavior and the lengthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentence is not suitable.
For example
, when the offenders
are convicted
to steal modest objects like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, a bag,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity of money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, the jury can tackle the case by giving them hours doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Besides
, the individuals who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
steal few things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have acceptable manner and their guilty action is
usually
temporary.
Therefore
, works which benefit the society should
be handled
by them.
Apparently
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the best option to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the society
is enhanced
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
justifiably
punished at the same time.

Secondly
, another advantage of prisoners doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
over-crowed offenders in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Since the crime is increasing
dramatically
in the present time, more and more guilty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
In that case
, a court of law will chose to sentence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
by giving them non-paying jobs
instead
of incarceration.
Moreover
, this measure taken by the jury can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
lack of supervision in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
as well
as avoid locating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in and harsh and detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
environment. Due to such advantages, it is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
policy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minor
prisoners works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are considered
as the more proper way to punish
slightly
guilty prisoners
rather
than imprison them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular cases.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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