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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 2
There is a debate concerning about the better work, whether undertaking in the same enterprise for the lifetime or occupying distinct organisations. This essay discusses both sides of this contentious argument and then I will give my own perpectives. If someone is determined to labour in one place, it would ensure their long career and the easiness reaching better position one day. The company certainly pays attention for the loyal employees and the ones whose understanding their works better anyone else, knowing how to develop their business and/or products, and strengthening the weakness of their organisation. All of these are only obtained by diving the duties for a long time and then someone would become an experts of this kind of job. This expertises lead to a higher position, albeit perhaps in long way to go. Unfortunately, this condition might bring a person in lacking experiences from another abilities and situations that would be a challenge for him or her if their office had got a bankrupt suddenly. On another side, the research shows that people who are changing their occupation twice in a minimum can take a multitasking job and survive in facing some unexpectedly issues rather than those who only have one position in their life. For instance, an actuary has a job in a private company taking care of life insurance before she moved into a government institution that tackle some medical and health issues in which threaten lives. She should hand on experiences regarding all the calculation about the risk-life theories in real life, whereby it can be only acquired from the company which she undertook beforehand. However, the drawback of displacing the organisations over and over again is the workers should start their career from zero in their new institution and might achieve to a perfect designation that is not in the short time. To conclude, both of the constant or altered organisations will give each own beneficial and detrimental conditions. In my opinion, it is a good idea and recommended to take chances looking perfect organisations, thereby if it have fitted into what is looking for, I prefer to immediately decide to settle down for long time until the time of retired.
There is a debate concerning about the better work, whether undertaking in the same enterprise for the lifetime or occupying distinct
organisations
. This essay discusses both sides of this contentious argument and then I will give my
own
perpectives
.

If someone
is determined
to
labour
in one place, it would ensure their
long
career and the easiness reaching better position one day. The
company
certainly
pays attention for the loyal employees and the ones whose understanding their works better anyone else, knowing how to develop their business and/or products, and strengthening the weakness of their
organisation
. All of these are
only
obtained by diving the duties for a
long
time and then someone would become
an experts
of this kind of job.
This
expertises lead to a higher position, albeit perhaps in
long
way to go. Unfortunately, this condition might bring a person in lacking experiences from another abilities and situations that would be a challenge for him or her if their office had
got
a bankrupt
suddenly
.

On another side, the research
shows
that
people
who are changing their occupation twice in a minimum can take a multitasking job and survive in facing
some
unexpectedly
issues
rather
than those who
only
have one position in their life.
For instance
, an actuary has a job in a private
company
taking care of life insurance
before
she
moved
into a
government
institution that tackle
some
medical and health issues in which threaten
lives
. She should hand on experiences regarding all the calculation about the
risk
-life theories in real life, whereby it can be
only
acquired from the
company
which she undertook beforehand.
However
, the drawback of displacing the
organisations
over and over again is the workers should
start
their career from zero in their new institution and might achieve to a perfect designation
that is
not in the short time.

To conclude
, both of the constant or altered
organisations
will give each
own
beneficial and detrimental conditions. In my opinion, it is a
good
idea
and
recommended to take
chances looking perfect
organisations
, thereby if it
have
fitted into what is looking for, I prefer to immediately decide to settle down for
long
time until the time of retired.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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