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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.6

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 6
People have different views on the number of company that employees should work for. While some people think that it is a great idea to work in the same organisation throughout their working life, I believe that it would be better to change the working environment sometimes. There are three key reasons why people think they should work in only one company in their entire worklife. The first reason is that people love to stay in their comfort zone. This is because things and colleagues around them are familiar to them and they would feel safe to work there. The second reason is that they think it it a better way to get more benefits in that company. For example, employees are entitled to one more day of annual leave if they work one more year in that company so this kind of benefit may be appealing to some people. The third reason is that staying in the same company is good for focusing on their work because they can make good use of their time for a better working performance instead of wasting time on searching for new companies. Although the benefits of working in one company are clear, I still believe that keep changing organisation is a much better choice. The most compelling reason is that people can get to know themselves better if they work in a variety of organisations. It is because the job duties in every company varies, employees can try something new whenever they change their job and they may be able to find what they really like or what suits them most. Moreover, working in different organisations provides people a precious chance to improve themselves and also to learn how to deal with new challenges. Since the company culture and requirements of their new supervisors are new to them, they would need to come up with new ways to get used to or deal with the new environment. In conclusion, while it may seem reasonable to stay in the same company throughout the whole worklife, I believe that it is better to change jobs when it is necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that employees should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, I believe that it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

There are three key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in their entire
Possible spelling mistake found.
worklife
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to stay in their comfort zone. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
things and colleagues around them are familiar to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they would feel safe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
It seems you either mean "it is", "if it", "it" or there is a comma missing: "it, it".
it it
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
For example
, employees
are entitled
to one more day of annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
one more year in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this kind of benefit may be appealing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their time for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
performance
instead
of wasting time on searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Although the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, I
still
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
changing
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice. The most compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a variety of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the job duties in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
varies, employees can try something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they may be able to find what they
really
like or what suits them most.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a precious chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and
also
to learn how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
challenges. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
culture and requirements of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
supervisors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
to them, they would need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to or deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment.

In conclusion
, while it may seem reasonable to stay in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
throughout the whole
Possible spelling mistake found.
worklife
, I believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
jobs when it is necessary.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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