Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think government is responsible for children obesity. Discuss v.1

Some people think government is responsible for children obesity. Discuss v. 1
The number of infants suffering from overweight is growing dramatically nowadays. On the one hand, a group of people claims that the state is guilty. On the other hand, others believe that the children’s parents are culpable for that. In my humble opinion, the parents have the obligation to keep their kids healthy. Firstly, the government should promote awareness to the community regarding this topic. It is vitally important for the public health system that the population ages healthful, which includes their weight. Some measures can be taken to address this issue, the government could create public talking for the families showing ways to prevent youngster’s obesity, for example. Moreover, the state could lower the taxes on fitness products for kids or even abolish it. However, the main responsible for the overweight problem among kids is their own parents. Before having a baby, a couple must research and prepare themselves for the future and acquire enough knowledge to create a healthy child. There are countless books, for example, that illustrate several methods to create healthful routines for infants, such as practicing sports daily. Furthermore, there are phycologists specialized in maternity and well-being for babies who can definitely assist in this process. Having said that, the parents have full responsibility on their kids’ weight. To conclude, although the government is responsible to aware the population regarding the benefits of a fitness life, it is the guardian’s task to keep their youngster in a good shape. Moreover, if the children are in good conditions it will help them to enjoy a better life.
The number of infants suffering from overweight is growing
dramatically
nowadays. On the one hand, a group of
people
claims that the state is guilty.
On the other hand
, others believe that the children’s
parents
are culpable for that. In my humble opinion, the
parents
have the obligation to
keep
their
kids
healthy.

Firstly
, the
government
should promote awareness to the community regarding this topic. It is
vitally
important
for the public health system that the population ages healthful, which includes their weight.
Some
measures can
be taken
to address this issue, the
government
could create public talking for the families showing ways to
prevent
youngster’s obesity,
for example
.
Moreover
, the state could lower the taxes on fitness products for
kids
or even abolish it.

However
, the main responsible for the overweight problem among
kids
is their
own
parents
.
Before
having a baby, a couple
must
research and prepare themselves for the future and acquire
enough
knowledge to create a healthy child. There are countless books,
for example
, that illustrate several methods to create healthful routines for infants, such as practicing sports daily.
Furthermore
, there are
phycologists
specialized in maternity and well-being for babies who can definitely assist in this process. Having said that, the
parents
have full responsibility on their
kids’
weight.

To conclude
, although the
government
is responsible to aware the population regarding the benefits of a fitness life, it is the guardian’s task to
keep
their youngster in a
good
shape.
Moreover
, if the children are in
good
conditions it will
help
them to enjoy a better life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think government is responsible for children obesity. Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts