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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v.27

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 27
Many people argue that majority of people prefer to work in one company all their whole lifetime of employment and this is a better option for employees. However, another group of people would prefer to work for as many as they could work to get diverse kind of experience. I would advocate the latter view for the following three main reasons. First, we need to build confidence with a variety of work experiences at our majored field. Second, we need to give us the opportunity to deal with bigger and new challenges. Finally, we need to be familiar with all types of industries to improve our knowledge and scope of learning. First of all, as I mentioned before, we should build confidence with various kind of works through facing different difficulties. If you work for only one organisation during all your lifetime, it becomes boring and monotonous and you could not challenge yourself on different occasions. Your work will become easier for you and you will not explore your hidden advantages to deal new challenges. Thus if you just adapt to your current work, you won’t be able to build your confidence. Therefore, you need to work with several companies with different responsibilities to improve and experience along with confidence. Secondly, we need to give us the opportunity to pursue bigger challenges. It is considered that there must be bigger and new chances to expand your view in the new environment. You can meet a wide range of people who came from different backgrounds. Therefore, you can learn many things to develop and inspire your mind from them. After that, it is more open to thinking wider and further to pursue bigger challenges. So you should flourish your development and always bring freshness into your knowledge and experience every single day. I can say that if you have to switch your job in a higher position in another company you should grab it. You never know what potentials are waiting for you! Finally, we need to familiar with all types of products to increase our skill and knowledge at our field. Because there are so many products and works need to familiar. If you want to promote or develop yourself efficiently you should have optimal knowledge about all of them. For instance, if you are a marketing people, there are diverse kinds of products available in the market likely: electronic, consumer goods, foods, clothes, automobiles and others. All products that I mentioned need marketing; however, they all have their own specific features and that means they have different customers and market. Therefore, you need to familiar with all industries products at your field to promote and accomplish your mission. To conclude, we would prefer to work for different companies that could share us specific advantages to build confidence as well as give us the opportunity to pursue bigger challenges and familiar with diverse kind of industries.
Many
people
argue that majority of
people
prefer to
work
in one
company
all their whole lifetime of employment and this is a better option for employees.
However
, another group of
people
would prefer to
work
for as
many
as they could
work
to
get
diverse
kind
of
experience
. I would advocate the latter view for the following three main reasons.
First
, we
need
to
build
confidence
with a variety of
work
experiences
at our majored field. Second, we
need
to give us the opportunity to deal with
bigger
and
new
challenges
.
Finally
, we
need
to be
familiar
with all types of industries to
improve
our
knowledge
and scope of learning.

First of all
, as I mentioned
before
, we should
build
confidence
with various
kind
of works through facing
different
difficulties. If you
work
for
only
one
organisation
during all your lifetime, it becomes boring and monotonous and you could not
challenge
yourself on
different
occasions. Your
work
will become easier for you and you will not explore your hidden advantages to deal
new
challenges
.
Thus
if you
just
adapt to your
current
work
, you won’t be able to
build
your
confidence
.
Therefore
, you
need
to
work
with several
companies
with
different
responsibilities to
improve
and
experience
along with confidence.

Secondly
, we
need
to give us the opportunity to pursue
bigger
challenges
. It
is considered
that there
must
be
bigger
and
new
chances to expand your view in the
new
environment. You can
meet
a wide range of
people
who came from
different
backgrounds.
Therefore
, you can learn
many
things to develop and inspire your mind from them. After that, it is more open to thinking wider and
further
to pursue
bigger
challenges
.
So
you should flourish your development and always bring freshness into your
knowledge
and
experience
every single day. I can say that if you
have to
switch your job in a higher position in another
company
you should grab it. You never know what potentials are waiting for you!

Finally
, we
need
to
familiar
with all types of
products
to increase our
skill
and
knowledge
at our field.
Because
there are
so
many
products
and works
need
to
familiar
. If you want to promote or develop yourself
efficiently
you should have optimal
knowledge
about all of them.
For instance
, if you are a marketing
people
, there are diverse
kinds
of
products
available in the market likely: electronic, consumer
goods
, foods, clothes, automobiles
and others
. All
products
that I mentioned
need
marketing;
however
, they all have their
own
specific features and that means they have
different
customers and market.
Therefore
, you
need
to
familiar
with all industries
products
at your field to promote and accomplish your mission.

To conclude
, we would prefer to
work
for
different
companies
that could share us specific advantages to
build
confidence
as well
as give us the opportunity to pursue
bigger
challenges
and
familiar
with diverse
kind
of industries.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
78Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 27

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
486 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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