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Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? And among them, which one is more important than others? v.12

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? And among them, which one is more important than others? v. 12
Nowadays, many experts and global organisations are finding a united definition of a country’s success. It is believed that economic development as GDP growth will illustrate the achievement of a country. Meanwhile, some people put forward the idea that besides this factor, the existence other features that have a stronger impact on that. As far as I am concerned that the latter opinion should receive more support. First, it is obvious that for most countries, the political institution plays a critical role in creating a country’s all-round development. This is because it might be a momentous leadership promoting the progress of others important areas such as education, economics, equal and safe society, science and technology. If a country exists in an undemocratic regime, it might be able to lead to the corruptible problem, social inequality, and even occurring advocacy groups phenomenon in the political environment and that means the country do not keep pace with the fast-paced development of globalisation and therefore impeding the country’s economic and social growth. This is particularly important in poor countries like Haiti, South Korea, Congo and so forth. That is not to say that economic progress is not an assessment of a nation’s success. It is due to the fact that economic factor exerts an essential influence on mirroring the successful level of countries in the world. For example, today’s economists and governments have still used GDP, GNP and CPI index in order to estimate countries’ development. However, once a nation gives priority to accelerate the economics, this may lead to increasing the gap between the poor and the rich, high inflation, economy-based crimes, and unstable society. So, governments should choose a stable growth corresponded with prosperous society and economy. In summary, the country should create the sustainable and successful progress in many areas based on the collaborative and democratic institution and thus by making the society more prosperity and happiness. Meanwhile, we should not neglect to invest effectively in economic development.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts and global
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are finding a united definition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
success. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as GDP growth will illustrate the achievement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put forward the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
besides
this factor, the existence other features that have a stronger impact on that.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
far as I
am concerned
that the latter opinion should receive more support.

First
, it is obvious that for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the political institution plays a critical role in creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
all-round
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it might be a momentous leadership promoting the progress of others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
areas such as education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
, equal and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, science and technology. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
exists in an undemocratic regime, it might be able to lead to the corruptible problem, social inequality, and even occurring advocacy groups phenomenon in the political environment and that means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
therefore
impeding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and social growth. This is
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Haiti, South Korea, Congo and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.

That is
not to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress is not an assessment of a nation’s success. It is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factor exerts an essential influence on mirroring the successful level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s economists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
GDP, GNP and CPI index in order to estimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
However
, once a nation gives priority to accelerate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
, this may lead to increasing the gap between the poor and the rich, high inflation, economy-based crimes, and unstable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should choose a stable growth corresponded with prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and economy.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should create the sustainable and successful progress in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas based on the collaborative and democratic institution and
thus
by making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
more prosperity and happiness. Meanwhile, we should not neglect to invest
effectively
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? And among them, which one is more important than others? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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