Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v.26

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 26
Around the world, individuals are highly concerned about their career growth. However, different people have their own opinion about the path for achieving success in their profession. According to one camp, one should be employed with the same company for the entire period, while another camp considers shifting companies provide job attainment. Both these views will be critiqued before reaching a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, there are a group of individuals who prefer working at same workplace throughout their life. These individuals will have a thorough understanding of the existing systems in their organisation and thereby, can be termed as the most knowledgeable employee within the company. As a consequence, they will be always selected for the rewards and recognitions as well as for the promotions. Therefore, it is apparent that these employees can expect stable progress in their professional life. For example, a professor working for the same university and getting involved in similar researches would be preferred for bigger research works than those professors who have worked for many organisations in different positions. On the other hand, some folks consider that changing their corporation promote career advancement. These individuals get an opportunity to gather information about various applications used across different organisations and thus, can be termed as multi-talented. This knowledge will not only help them to attract employers towards them but also help them to convince these employers for paying them higher wages, thus, their personal life will be comfortable. Looking at this, it is clear that benefits of switching jobs are difficult to debunk. For instance, a software developer expert in different platforms and programming languages are better suited for large software companies and their careers often include working in different companies. After analysing these two outlooks, it can be assumed that sticking to one company for life-long can offer professional growth, but altering companies can benefit both personal and professional life. Thus, it is expected that people will opt for shifting organisations for having a prosperous life.
Around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
highly
concerned about their career growth.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about the path for achieving success in their profession. According to one camp, one should
be employed
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for the entire period, while another camp considers shifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide job attainment. Both these views will
be critiqued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who prefer working at same workplace throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will have a thorough understanding of the existing systems in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and thereby, can
be termed
as the most knowledgeable employee within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. As a consequence, they
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
will be always
selected for the rewards and recognitions
as well
as for the promotions.
Therefore
, it is apparent that these employees can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
stable progress in their professional life.

For example
, a professor working for the same university and getting involved in similar researches would
be preferred
for bigger research works than those professors who have worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
positions.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks consider that changing their corporation promote career advancement. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to gather information about various applications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
thus
, can
be termed
as multi-talented. This knowledge will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to attract employers towards them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to convince these employers for paying them higher wages,
thus
, their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be comfortable. Looking at this, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that benefits of switching jobs are difficult to debunk.

For instance
, a software developer expert in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
platforms and programming languages are better suited for large software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and their careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
include working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
these two outlooks, it can
be assumed
that sticking to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for life-long can offer professional growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
altering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can benefit both personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will opt for shifting
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
for having a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 26

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts