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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 7
The younger generation tends to work in different companies as compared to the older generation where they spend whole life in the same organization. Some people argue that it is good to work in the same organization while the other thinks it is more beneficial to work with different companies. This essay will discuss both views with an example. To start with, People working in the same organization for different reasons and the most important reason are stability they get compared to working in different companies. This helps employee not only getting knowledge of company all application processes, but also the chances of getting promotion is higher. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from Mongster, people stay in single company have 70% more changes to get promoted compared to new employee. On the flip side, people love to change company to get knowledge. Needless to say, World is moving with rapid growth and every year new application system introduced into the market. It is very difficult to get familiar with all available systems in the market with staying in the same company, but working in different company gives you that advantage. For example, one of my friend change his company very often and he knows more frameworks as compared to me. To conclude, People working in companies with different prospective, some people work in the same company for stability, while others get more knowledge from changing organizations. In my opinion, changing company outweigh the working in the same organization. Gaining knowledge is crucial in any field so changing company is better as compared to staying in the single company.
The younger generation tends to
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work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as compared to the older generation where they spend whole life in the same
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organization
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
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work
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
while the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. This essay will discuss both views with an example.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
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People
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working
in the same
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organization
for
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different
reasons and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason are stability they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employee not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting
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knowledge
of
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company
all application processes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the chances of getting promotion is higher. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mongster
,
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people
stay in single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have 70% more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted compared to new employee.

On the flip side,
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people
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love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Needless to say, World is moving with rapid growth and every year new application system introduced into the market. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with all available systems in the market with staying in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
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different
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company
gives you that advantage.
For example
, one of my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
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company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
often and
he knows more frameworks as compared to me.

To conclude
,
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People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with
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different
prospective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for stability, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. In my opinion, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
. Gaining
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knowledge
is crucial in any field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is better
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to staying in the single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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