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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? v. 1
Happiness is one of the most precious goals to be achieved. People may differ in how defines happiness. Some people may consider happiness depends on presence of money. The more money you have, the happier you are. However, others have different points of view regarding how to be happy. Money can facilitate our lives by offering a good standard of life in many aspects. You can have all the fundamental needs like education, housing and good health services. Furthermore, you can live with more luxury and joy. For example, you can buy luxury cars and visit all the countries you wish. In addition to making your own dreams come true, you will be able to help your family and friends to make them live more comfortable. However, availability of all the aforementioned subjects are not equal to real happiness. Some people are extremely rich and they do not live a single happy day. For example, me as a mother, the happiness for me is equal to my daughters. Having kids, taking care of them and raising them to be good, happy and successful ones is a real joy. On the other hand, a student may consider graduation and having a good job is the happiness and a single girl may see the marriage is the happiness, etc. In conclusion, how to see happiness is varied between people. Some people consider money is the backbone of happiness while others are living happy depending on different subjects. In my opinion, regardless of the difference in our definition of happiness, we have to do our best to live happy.
Happiness
is one of the most precious goals to
be achieved
.
People
may differ in how defines
happiness
.
Some
people
may consider
happiness
depends on presence of money. The more money you have, the happier you are.
However
, others have
different
points of view regarding how to be happy.

Money can facilitate our
lives
by offering a
good
standard of life in
many
aspects. You can have all the fundamental needs like education, housing and
good
health services.
Furthermore
, you can
live
with more luxury and joy.
For example
, you can
buy
luxury cars and visit all the countries you wish.
In addition
to making your
own
dreams
come
true, you will be able to
help
your family and friends to
make
them
live
more comfortable.

However
, availability of all the aforementioned subjects are not equal to real
happiness
.
Some
people
are
extremely
rich and
they do not
live
a single
happy
day.
For example
, me as a mother, the
happiness
for me is equal to my daughters. Having kids, taking care of them and raising them to be
good
,
happy
and successful ones is a real joy.
On the other hand
, a student may consider graduation and having a
good
job is the
happiness
and a single girl may
see
the marriage is the
happiness
, etc.

In conclusion
, how to
see
happiness
is varied
between
people
.
Some
people
consider money is the backbone of
happiness
while others are living
happy
depending on
different
subjects. In my opinion, regardless of the difference in our definition of
happiness
, we
have to
do our best to
live
happy
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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