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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 15
It is true that many people firmly believe that sticking to the same organization is more beneficial than moving to another. In my opinion, when we are provided with endless opportunities in front of us, we should grab it and move forward. The first and foremost is people are not ready to migrate from one job to another as they are comfortably placed in one organization and already built a good rapport with their fellow co-workers. Besides, jumping to another job needs extensive interview preparation and sometimes it is a cumbersome process. Many people follow this methodology of serving the same company for years and become the senior-most in the meantime. However, changing jobs will help them to understand how other industries work and it will widen their knowledge in different aspects as well. The change of job not only helps them to grow their profile further, but it will also help them to boost their confidence to a greater extent. Initially, it might be difficult to mingle with others, but for talented persons, this should not be a big issue. For example, software developers are required to know different coding languages and frameworks. If they work in the same organization, it will be difficult to compete with others and it won’t be beneficial in the long run. Working in different organizations will provide more insights into the system architecture and can apply their experience acquired in the previous company. Even though adapting to a different organization requires a huge amount of time investment, the amount of knowledge gained will be higher. According to me, people should be ready to work in multiple challenging environments, which will help them to grow personally and professionally.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
firmly
believe that sticking to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
is more beneficial than moving to another. In my opinion, when we
are provided
with endless opportunities in front of us, we should grab it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward.

The
first
and foremost is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not ready to migrate from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to another as they are
comfortably
placed in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
and already built a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rapport with their fellow co-workers.
Besides
, jumping to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
needs extensive interview preparation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is a cumbersome process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow this methodology of serving the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for years and become the senior-most in the meantime.

However
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to understand how other industries work and it will widen their knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects
as well
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to grow their profile
further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to boost their confidence to a greater extent.
Initially
, it might be difficult to mingle with others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for talented persons, this should not be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue.

For example
, software developers
are required
to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
coding languages and frameworks. If they work in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, it will be difficult to compete with others and it won’t be beneficial in the long run. Working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
will provide more insights into the system architecture and can apply their experience acquired in the previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Even though
adapting to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
requires a huge amount of time investment, the amount of knowledge gained will be higher.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be ready to work in multiple challenging environments, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grow
personally
and
professionally
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 15

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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