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Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are more interested in. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are more interested in. v. 2
People are divided on the opinion of choosing subjects for studying during the whole educational life. It is often thought by some that the youngster should prefer those disciplines in which they are excellent; however, I completely agree with those who believe that they ought to focus on the whole syllabus, recommended by the academic institutes. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth some arguments to support my view. There is a myriad of factors which can be attributed to pursuing a whole group of the subjects offered by the institutes. To begin with, conventional studies provide the basic foundation to study other subjects which are generally required to pursue a higher degree. For instance, deep understanding of the angles, vectors and arithmetic from mathematics has a wide variety of use in post graduate certificates of physics and chemistry. Thus, importance of these subjects for young pupils cannot be ruled. Another obvios reason is that the knowledge of all these courses at the primary level is essential to perform various basic tasks in the life. As a matter of fact, understanding of various functions, which a student learns at school is important in daily life routine. For example, simple calculations of mathematics are always helpful while doing shopping at the retail stores. Furthermore, learning a variety of fields by students not only provide more choices to take up the fields of their interest, but also give them a better scope of opportunities to grab the prestigious jobs in their desired professions later on. In conclusion, while the masses may vary in their perspectives about choosing courses at schools, I would reiterate my point that to opt a borad spectrum of subjects at the basic level is crucial to achieve success in the adulthood.
People
are divided
on the opinion of choosing
subjects
for studying during the whole educational life. It is
often
thought
by
some
that the youngster should prefer those disciplines in which they are excellent;
however
, I completely
agree
with those who believe that they ought to focus
on the whole
syllabus, recommended by the academic institutes. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth
some
arguments to support my view.

There is a myriad of factors which can
be attributed
to pursuing a whole group of the
subjects
offered by the institutes. To
begin
with, conventional studies provide the basic foundation to study other
subjects
which are
generally
required to pursue a higher degree.
For instance
, deep understanding of the angles, vectors and arithmetic from mathematics has a wide variety of
use
in post graduate certificates of physics and chemistry.
Thus
, importance of these
subjects
for young pupils cannot
be ruled
.

Another
obvios
reason is that the knowledge of all these courses at the primary level is essential to perform various basic tasks in the life. As a matter of fact, understanding of various functions, which a student learns at school is
important
in daily life routine.
For example
, simple calculations of mathematics are always helpful while
doing shopping
at the retail stores.
Furthermore
, learning a variety of fields by students not
only
provide more choices to take up the fields of their interest,
but
also
give them a better scope of opportunities to grab the prestigious jobs in their desired professions later on.

In conclusion
, while the masses may vary in their
perspectives about
choosing courses at schools, I would reiterate my point that to opt a
borad
spectrum of
subjects
at the basic level is crucial to achieve success in the adulthood.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are more interested in. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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