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STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE/DISAGREE? v.4

STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. v. 4
Acquiring academic knowledge through subjects such as mathematics, chemistry or physics is deemed by some to be more important for students than gaining life skills like cooking or dressing. In my opinion, this idea is flawed because of the following reasons. Firstly, much of the knowledge related to academic subjects has few practical uses, and students can use it only for completing school assignments at school or taking tests. For example, in Vietnam, students have to learn many complex math equations in school which cannot be applied in daily life but can only be used for passing exams. Secondly, learning life skills can inspire students and develop their potential. They can have more career options to choose from after graduating from school and university. For example, my sister learned cooking in primary school which developed her passion for it. Now she has become an accomplished chef. Therefore, I believe that skills such as cooking and dressing should be included as a compulsory part of the school curriculum. Moreover, gaining necessary skills such as cooking and dressing can make students become more self-confident and well-rounded. For example, when choosing to move to other countries to study, young people will be able to take care of themselves if they are equipped with such skills. In addition, being taught at school how to dress appropriately for various occasions will be very useful for students in many situations in daily life. To illustrate, they can choose suitable outfits to make a positive impression on potential employers when attending an interview or make themselves attractive when taking part in a party. In conclusion, although learning academic knowledge is important for students to pass exams, I believe that skills such as cooking and dressing should also be included in the school curriculum because they can make students become more self-confident and well-rounded.
Acquiring academic knowledge through subjects such as mathematics, chemistry or physics
is deemed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like cooking or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
. In my opinion, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is flawed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.

Firstly
, much of the knowledge related to academic subjects has few practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
assignments at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
For example
, in Vietnam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
complex math equations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which cannot
be applied
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for passing exams.

Secondly
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and develop their potential. They can have more career options to choose from after graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and university.
For example
, my sister learned cooking in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which developed her passion for it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
she has become an accomplished chef.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
should
be included
as a compulsory part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.

Moreover
, gaining necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more self-confident and well-rounded.
For example
, when choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other countries to study, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be able to take care of themselves if they
are equipped
with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In addition
,
being taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
how to dress
appropriately
for various occasions will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate, they can choose suitable outfits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impression on potential employers when attending an interview or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
themselves attractive when taking part
Unless you mean "in a political party," the usual preposition for a party is "at." Did you mean, "at a party"?
in a party
.

In conclusion
, although learning academic knowledge is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pass exams, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
should
also
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more self-confident and well-rounded.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay STUDENTS SHOULD BE TAUGHT ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE SO THAT THEY CAN PASS EXAMS, AND SKILLS SUCH AS COOKING OR DRESSING SHOULD NOT BE TAUGHT. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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