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some people way that the only for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opin v.1

some people way that the only for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. 1
Bacteria, virus are diseases that are common in infecting children. Most parents have taken the advantage of immunizing their children against infections while others may think that a child should have the right to choose not to be immunised. This essay will discuss I completely agree that parents should oblige to immunize their children ahead common illness. Firstly, parents have the sole responsibility of their child. Children are under age and they have no right to make decisions themselves, parents are expected to decide on their behave pending when they are grown enough to care for themselves. For example, my son barely falls ill because I have given him all necessary immunizations that has made him healthy. This will make children free from all kinds of sickness. On the other hand, children are tender, and cannot make decisions. Situations like this might end up hurting them in the future because, they will end up feeling sick regularly and might lead to their early grave. An instance, is my nephew that never allows her mother takes him to the clinic and he never takes drugs or injections this led the child to be admitted in the hospital when the sickness exploded beyond expected. This will lead to causing pain in the family and they will spend more on paying hospital bills. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of parents to care for their children and not allow them vital decisions that will end their lives. In my opinion, I absolutely oblige that parents should immunise their kids.
Bacteria, virus are diseases that are common in infecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have taken the advantage of immunizing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
against infections while others may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a child should have the right to choose not to be
Do not mix variants of the same word ('immunise' and 'immunize') within a single text.
immunised
. This essay will discuss I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should oblige to immunize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ahead common illness.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the sole responsibility of their child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are under
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they have no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions themselves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to decide on their behave pending when they
are grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to care for themselves.
For example
, my son
barely
falls ill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
him all necessary immunizations that has made him healthy. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
free from all kinds of sickness.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are tender, and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions. Situations like this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up hurting them in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up feeling sick
regularly
and might lead to their early grave. An instance, is my nephew that never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
her mother takes him to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clinic and
he never takes drugs or injections this led the child to
be admitted
in the hospital when the sickness exploded beyond
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. This will lead to causing pain in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they will spend more on paying hospital bills.

In conclusion
, it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them vital decisions that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, I
absolutely
oblige that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
Do not mix variants of the same word ('immunise' and 'immunize') within a single text.
immunise
their kids.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people way that the only for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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