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4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v.1

4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v. 1
In the recent era, almost every country across the globe wants to improve their existing transport system by introducing new train lines for super fast trains between the cities, but there is a section of people who felt that instead of laying down new lines, existing public transit should be improved. Nowadays, every nation worldwide wants to improvise their existing movement system by laying down new lines on which the super fast trains can run so that the time taken to cover distance between cities can be significantly reduced. This in turn helps the people to utilize the hours saved for other activities. With the introduction of bullet trains, the pressure on the other modes of movement can be reduced, for example, most people uses the air over rail transport for long journey and with the availability of bullet train, not only they reach the destination on time but also save some money. Furthermore, these advancements will also represent the country in the international arena on the basis of technological advancements. On the downside, huge investment is required to accomplish the task of laying down new lines and does not make any sense for the underdeveloped nations where even the existing road and railway system is in pathetic condition, so for these nations existing road and rail carrier should be improved first rather than building new lines. To conclude, introduction of new rail lines is the need of the hour, in terms of saving time and providing safe and cost effective travel to passengers, but for poor countries, existing transport should be improved instead of building new lines.
In the recent era, almost every country across the globe wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
transport system by introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
for super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
between the cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who felt that
instead
of laying down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
public transit should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Nowadays, every nation worldwide wants to improvise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
movement system by laying down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
on which the super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the time taken to cover distance between cities can be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to utilize the hours saved for other activities. With the introduction of bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, the pressure on the other modes of movement can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
for example
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
uses
the air over rail transport for long journey and with the availability of bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they reach the destination on time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
Furthermore
, these advancements will
also
represent the country in the international arena on the basis of technological advancements.

On the downside, huge investment
is required
to accomplish the task of laying down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense for the underdeveloped nations where even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
road and railway system is in pathetic condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for these nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
road and rail carrier should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
first
rather
than building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lines.

To conclude
, introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
is the need of the hour, in terms of saving time and providing safe and cost effective travel to passengers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for poor countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
transport should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
instead
of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 4 fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have leads on to the idea that thay are also responsible for briging the children up. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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